Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A wasp is trying to assassinate me.

There is a wasp somewhere in my room. It’s crazy annoying – ’cause I can’t find it, so I’m just sitting here as bait, waiting for it to sting me. I vaguely remember how much it hurts to get stung – but that was like, 15 years ago. So maybe I was just a bit of a pussy back then – or maybe it actually hurts like the dickens! The dickens I say!

I’m also sort of concerned that there’s some secret wasp passage in my room that they’re using to escape the elements. I wouldn’t put anything past those sneaky wasps. 

And how do I know it’s a wasp and not a bumblebee? Because it wasn’t/isn’t furry – it had a shiny yellow and black tail, and an angry look about him. Stupid wasps – tough to relax knowing I could get stung at any minute.

I suppose this is what it feels like to have a hit put out on you. You sort of protect yourself as best you can, but there’s always that feeling that there’s something lurking around the corner waiting to getcha! Then you get that itchy feeling on the back of your neck… he’s coming for me!

I should buy one of them full bodied hazmat suits. Or find the king wasp and put his head on a little pike on my desk as a message to all those other wasps. Do wasps respond to intimidation? Maybe I should buy an attack spider and let him patrol my room. Except, of course, ew, spider! 

Now my skin is all crawly. Guh… Screw summer. I prefer the winter, when bugs die off by the truckload.


May 4, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , ,

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