Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

My opener

I still haven’t found a really consistent time to write, so this blog is sporadic. Which is the worst of the blog types. In any case, I’ll try and write in the morning or before knocking off for the day or something like that.

My internet’s been down the past couple days. Some pipe was water damaged somewhere, and it took 3 days to fix. I’d switch to DSL, but Teksavvy doesn’t offer it where I live. And there’s no way I’d sign with Rogers or Bell. 

So I’ve got a wedding coming up in about a month that I’ll be MC-ing for. I’ve got my opening joke. After saying stuff like, “Ok, if everyone could take their seats. And if I could be the first to say how beautiful Hilary looks in her dress and how snappy Mike looks in his tux. If we could all grab our drinks and give the first of many toasts tonight, to Mike and Hilary!”

“Well, for those who don’t know me, my name is Greg, I’ll be your MC tonight. I’ve been best friends with Mike since high school, and am currently the man responsible for deleting his internet browser history, should he die unexpectedly.”

I’d say that’s a pretty solid opener. Then I need a way to sort of frame the monologue. Maybe something like, “We’re here tonight to celebrate the coming together of our friends Mike and Hilary.” And then some waffle about love, commitment and respect.

I think I’ll tell two quick stories about Hil & Mike. For Hil, I’ll talk about the time she whupped me in squash and for Mike, I’ll talk about the time he and I picked up chicks and he went from charmingly smooth to fall down drunk in a matter of steps.

 

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May 26, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , ,

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