Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

Stupid government… but what else is new?

What a dumb Orwellian country I live in.

Apparently, wearing a mask at a protest is now a crime. For citizens, of course, cops are free to wear masks, hide their ID’s and beat up minorities as much as they like. But wear a Guy Fawkes mask and you can get up to 10 years in prison. Just for reference, Karla Homolka got 12 years in prison, and she raped and murdered a bunch of girls!

Christ shit almighty. If I’m at a protest and the man starts coming at me ’cause I’m wearing a mask, well then I’m gonna make damn sure I’m not going down without a fight! What’s that, I get 10 years in prison for putting on a bandana to protect myself from the tear gas and pepper spray from the increasingly militaristic cops? Fuck that noise, I’m bringing a goddamn sword.

Of course, the effect that this has on the populace is that it might make people to nervous to protest. In which case, the government has now reduced the effective rights of citizens to display outrage at whatever typical government corruption is going on.

When’s the next protest? Goddamn right I’m wearing a mask. My defense? Jury nullification. 


June 19, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

A ramble full of math and corruption, signifying nothing.

Well well well… here we are, thinking of something to write about.

Hmm… pretty stuck on ideas. That chick with the rack was in my class today. So… that’s something.

I tell ya, kids who are taking arts degrees do not want to learn about math. Which is too bad, because math is awesome and will get you a real job. Do we need more sociology majors? Of course not. Arts degrees – what a waste of fucking time.

So I guess this will turn into a ramble about nothing… The best kind of ramble.

Nothing much going on in the news. (Well, nothing much that I care about. Turkey and Brazil are undergoing pretty heavy strife, the NSA violates the 4th amendment on a daily basis and the mayor of Montreal was arrested on bribery charges.)

The funny thing about the Montreal mayor being arrested is that he says the charges are “unfounded.” Suuure they are, fellah. I sort of have a feeling that Montreal (and Quebec at large) is the last refuge of the Canadian mob and they are not going down without a fight. Certainly it’s well known that the construction industry in Quebec is heavily mob-influenced, not to mention the political sphere.

What else – oh, I just about finished the odd prime case for my thesis. This is probably of interest to no one but me… possibly my supervisor. In any case, I’m pretty close to having a respectable PhD thesis… But we’ll see, it could easily happen that my prof dumps a heap load more of work on me at the end of summer.

And that is a ramble about nothing to no one!

June 18, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You shouldn’ta done that, he’s just a boy

So… how ’bout all them abortions? Pretty controversial, right? Let me tell you why both sides of the debate are wrong.

First off, the anti-abortion side has got to stop calling fetuses babies. Fetuses live inside the womb, babies live outside the womb. Boom, very simple distinction. So that abortions is not equal to killing babies, it’s killing a fetus. And there’s a big difference there.

For starters, there’s this thing called ‘spontaneous abortion’, which affects about 20% of all births. Source. So all that hoohah about how God doesn’t want dead fetuses, well, you’re wrong – apparently God wants 1 out of every 5 fetuses for himself. 

Further, what if the parents learn within a month of conception that the child is horribly deformed, and if carried to term, has a high probability of killing the mother, and the child, if successfully born, will be in constant agony for the remainder of its days, and have a high likelihood of dying before it’s 1st birthday. But if the parents opted for an abortion, they would be spared untold misery.

Finally, I can’t stand those anti-abortioners who insist upon the mother carrying the baby to term in cases of rape or incest. For rape – do you really want to punish the poor girl who was raped by having her give birth to a constant reminder of that event? What’s she going to tell the child when he or she grows up. “You’re daddy was a brutal rapist, who punched me in the head when he was done and left me in a filthy alley.” And incest, dear lord – you know why dalmatians are such shitty dogs? Because of inbreeding. Inbreeding is a fancy dog-raising word for incest. Do you really want a woman to have to bear offspring with a high chance of deformities, disorders and crazy health problems? Not to mention just how gross incest is in the first place.

As for the pro-abortioners, it pisses me off when you keep spouting, “It’s a woman’s right to choose.” Really? Did the woman get pregnant through spontaneous human parthenogenesis? No, she didn’t? Then the father should have some say in the matter.

The people who are for abortion seem to conveniently forget that it takes two people to conceive. But when it comes to abortion time, all the man can do is either accept that the woman will have an abortion, or be on the hook for child support for 18 years.

There’s such a thing as sperm rape. That’s when a woman claims she’s on the pill when she’s not in order to get pregnant. (Or, more nefariously, when a woman steals sperm from a used condom.) So the man was fooled into conception – but now he has to live with whatever decision the woman is going to make. What bullshit. It’s a woman’s right to choose, and the man has no rights.

If a woman becomes pregnant through sperm rape, I sort of think she’s given up the right to choose. Certainly rapists don’t have any parental rights, why should sperm rapists be allowed to collect cash for 18 years (and possibly more.)

So there you have it. When it comes to abortion, neither side is right.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get laid! She said she’s on the pill so I’m raw doggin’ it tonight!

June 15, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Nazi’s in America

Sooo… what’s in the news today? That’ll give me something to write about…

Oh, I see they’ve found another Nazi living in the US. Hmm… Maybe operation paperclip, the bringing of Nazi’s into the US, wasn’t such a great idea after all? Not to mention how operation gladio turned into a fascist CIA led terror cult pretty similar to the Nazi’s. I won’t even talk about Wehrner Von Braun and the fact that he was in the SS, and how NASA whitewashed his criminal Nazi past. (Not to mention he led a slave labour camp called Peenemunde.)

Anyhoo, with the revelations of NSA spying this week, I won’t be surprised if Nazism comes to America. And when I say Nazism, I generally mean the fascist overthrow of democratic government and the institution of a cult-like belief in the power of the American government. We’re about halfway there – when whistleblowers get prosecuted and the scumfuck bankers who’ve raped and pillaged the economy get billions of dollars, something’s wrong.

When it comes to the downfall of the US, I think the loss of family and community will ultimately be its undoing. When it becomes normal that both parents work, then children will be raised by other people. How long until we see state day care centers? From state-run daycare (which will be piss poor, and if I know the American government, probably staffed with pedophiles) into state-run schools (which are among the worst in Western nations) into state-sponsored government jobs (leading to poverty.)

Y’know, maybe I’m just cranky ’cause I was woken up from my nap. But I think there’s a hard road ahead for the West.

June 14, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

My awesome club

So I belong to a pretty exclusive club, open to white men aged 18 to 75. We’re called The Patriarchy, perhaps you’ve heard of us? Yeah, we get around.

Basically, our club is all about finding new and exciting ways to keep down women and minorities. And brother, let me tell ya, we’re doing a heck of a job.

Take black people, for instance. We’ve convinced black people that ‘speaking white’, which is otherwise known as ‘speaking grammatically correct English’, is something to be avoided at all costs. We instituted this program in the mid-70’s, and it is working like gangbusters. Now young black kids are growing up trying their best not to speak English correctly. The ingenious part of this program is that it prevents black people from receiving a proper education – because if you can’t speak the language, you can’t learn new material. Oooh, we of The Patriarchy are so sneaky.

But our absolute best program we instituted was feminism. Oh, what a triumph that was. First, we convinced women that staying home and taking care of children – what the women of our species have been doing for thousands of generations – we’ve convinced them that it was oppressive. Can you imagine?! I still can’t believe they fell for it! We told ’em that child rearing – something most women love to do – was oppressive, and the way out of this mess was to GET A JOB!! 

Ahh, my sides. Oh ho ho – a job, yeah, that’s less oppressive! Ha ha ha. Those broads ate that one up! My goodness.

Then, not only did we convince them that they all needed to work, we then convinced them that having sex with lots of men was liberating! Ah ha ha! What drivel. Before we instituted feminism, if a man wanted sex with a woman, he’d generally have to marry her. He couldn’t just fuck her and take off – he was stuck with her. We at the patriarchy took one look at that and said no thank you. So now, we’ve got women having sex with men on the first date! The first date! Sex without commitment has never been easier for a man. 

We certainly think of everything in our little club. If you’re a white male between the ages of 18-75, then you’re already a member. Why not join us at our next meeting? We meet every Tuesday. Check your local bank, they’ll have all the details.

June 12, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tits, the Xbone and PS4

Aw yeah, back to writing.

That chick with the rack has missed the previous two classes of mine. I’m pretty bummed.

But now I’m super stoked for teaching in the fall and winter. Because the number of students in class will be 5 times what I’ve got now. Just think of all the potential bodacious racks that is!

Anyhoo, I don’t think I can write another blog post about how much I love titties, although I could probably go on all day about how awesome titties are. They’re soft, round, they’ve got these nipples on ’em that get hard when I play with ’em. Mmmm… titties. Sounds like a snack!

So… what’s going on in the world? I guess Microsoft and Sony have given us all a preview of their next gen consoles. Each next gen thing looks pretty good, but it pales in comparison to any high-end pc. And in a year, even a modest new pc will have about the same computing power as the Xbone and Ps4.

However, the big kerfuffle is all about the stupid Xbone and it’s Orwellian features. The Xbone comes with a Kinect that’s basically permanently on – Microsoft has proprietary tech. that lets the Kinect know how many people are watching tv or playing a game at any one time. Further, the Kinect will pause if I leave the room during a commercial. Not to mention the Xbone is connected to the internet 24/7 – so that’s for sure got built in NSA spying capabilities. Plus you have to connect every 24 hours or the Kinect grows legs and kills you or something.

Naturally, I won’t be getting an Xbone.

But wait, it gets worse! Say I buy an Xbone game and want to lend it to a friend. You’d think I’d be able to do that since I purchased the disc and therefore own it and can do with it what I want. Well, you guessed wrong, citizen. If my friend wants to borrow one of my games, he’s got to pay money for it! What sort of bullshit shenanigans is this?

Naturally, I won’t be getting an Xbone.

But wait, you’re still not convinced that having a machine that constantly monitors you in your home is bad? Act now, and you’ll find that the Xbone games you buy can’t be traded into Gamestop or something similar if you get bored with it. What the fuck!? That’s retarded.

Essentially, if I buy an Xbone game, I don’t own it. I can’t trade it, sell it or give it away. Add in the brave new world monitoring and it’s absolutely for certain. I will not be getting a stupid Xbone.

PS4 looks hopefully promising. They’ve emphasized that you can buy, trade, sell or lend the games that you own. (Which, y’know, agrees with the whole concept of ownership.) So they’ve got that going for them.

Even better, PS4 doesn’t bundle together the playstation move. Which is good, because I don’t buy video games to hop around like an idiot. I buy video games to play video games! If I wanted to hop around like an idiot, I’d go to a Harlem Shuffle party.

So it looks like Sony is the good guy, with almost unanimous approval over the godawful Xbone. That’s pretty impressive for a company from Japan, land of tentacle rape and vending machines full of used panties.

June 11, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

There’s a chick in my class with a crazy bodacious rack.

I’m a rambler I’m a gambler and it’s now time to write… 

There’s this chick in my class – who’s a student, I’m the prof – who I’ve recently found out has a bodacious rack. Generally, I can’t really tell the figure of my sexier students, ’cause they’re all sat behind a desk and I’m at the front with my glassenses [sic] off. But today, this girl comes up to talk about her test and AAHOoooooOOOGAH! Wow, what an amazing rack.

Luckily, I’ve seen plenty of documentaries* which feature hot students sleeping with their teachers. So I think I’ll be nailing this one by the end of the semester.

It’s funny, being a woman and around 20 years old is like a super power. If you’re a chick and you’re 20 and you’re not fat, that’s pretty much as hot as you’re ever going to be. Here’s a tip, ladies, since society seems to think that men care about your profession: men don’t care about your profession. Men care if you’re hot and not a bitch. That’s it. All this blather about fierce and independent, that’s all horseshit being pushed by ugly women. Since feminism reared it’s ugly head in the 70’s, society has been telling girls to act like men, and been telling men that male sexuality is wrong. What a world!

What gets me are feminists who think getting a job is ‘freeing’. You morons – work sucks. 95% of all jobs suck total balls. The other 5% are like, playboy photographer, executive hammock tester, professional porn watcher. Those are all legit awesome jobs. Everything else is working in an office for the man, or working retail and dealing with stupid customers, or selling something and dealing with stupid people that wont buy your product.

Anyhoo, I’m rambling on again – ill formed thoughts about stuff that bugs me. My main point is that I really want to nail that chick in my class with the bodacious rack. Mmmm…. boobs.

What else… couple more minutes to kill. Well, I watched all of Arrested Development recently. It’s quite the clever show – much smarter than Modern Family. Not to mention it stars David Cross, probably my favorite current working comedian at the time. (Chappelle would be my favorite, but he’s not touring as far as I know.) I can see why all the nerds on the internet were up in arms when it got cancelled. But that’s Fox for ya – don’t give your best shows the best time slots or marketing and then be surprised when the ratings tank. Christ, are all tv executives a bunch of coked-up sleazeballs? I’m guessing the ones at the Fox network are! (They cancelled Firefly too – what a cunting bunch of morons.)


June 4, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Ricky Gervais Show – did I do one about this before?

Writing again just to write.

The thing about writing is, it’s better to write crap everyday than it is to write something brilliant once a month. We all learn by doing – and so it’s inevitable that I’ll become better at writing if I just force myself to write everyday. Like Paul McLean says, consistency is something we’re all looking for.

Anyhoo, it’s a blog post about nothing. Which is very similar to listening to a Karl Pilkington podcat (or the Ricky Gervais show.) I like listening to the Ricky Gervais show on my headphones while I play videogames. Why? Well, I generally play sports video games, so the sound doesn’t add a whole hell of a lot. Plus, it seems easy to me to listen to one thing while watching something else. Must be my crazy sound/touch synaesthesia.

Point is, Karl Pilkington is quite possibly either the dumbest genius or the smartest retard I’ve ever listened to. Some of the things he comes up with…

For example, Ricky and Steve (Merchant) were asking Karl what he would do if he ever met his doppleganger. (A doppleganger is one’s double.) Karl replied, “How would I know which one I was?”

That’s either mental or brilliant. Probably mental. Karl’s thinking that if he ever ran in to someone who looked exactly like he did, he think he’d have trouble remembering who he is. Maybe – it’s sort of hard to tell what Karl is really getting at. He has a mumbley way of speaking – and everything is sort of understated. It boggles the mind some of the things he comes up with.

Of course, the best part of the Ricky Gervais show is hearing Gervais laugh hysterically whenever Karl says something stupid. Which is often. Gervais goes from his normal speaking voice – a lower class English baritone – to high pitch squeals in an instant.

Steve Merchant usually acts as the straight man for Ricky, but he gets in a ton of brilliant lines as well. Something about his voice – now a posh English accent – and his sense of timing.

Gervais and Merchant are well suited together as a comedy duo. They can play off each other – throw things back and forth – if there’s riffing going on, they generally know where the other person is going with it. I wish there was another season of the RG show, as I could just listen to these three go back and forth for hours.

Gervais – I know you read this blog – fervishly hitting F5 throughout your working day. Tell ya what, if you make another season of the RG show, I’ll start updating this thing daily.

Deal? Deal.

June 3, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment