Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

Father of Arabia

Well, my dad has left today for Saudi Arabia for 3 weeks. There’s quite a lot of rules that he has to keep in mind.

For starters, Saudi Arabia is a dry country. (And that’s not just ’cause the country is a big-ass desert.) No, it’s dry as in, there’s no alcohol allowed anywhere in the country. (Fellas, there’s a fortune to be made in bootlegging down there!) This means he’s obviously not allowed to bring booze with him in his luggage, but also no mouthwash with alcohol in it, no purell or antibacterial hoo-ha, no sterile alcohol wipes. Nothing!

Lemme tell ya, they’re pretty goddamn strict in Saudi Arabia.

The other thing there is that you’re not allowed to touch women. No handshakes or pats on the back or nothing. Of course, if you’re married or you’re the father of an unmarried woman, then it’s different, because that woman is basically your property. But my dad was told that essentially, when it comes to women, “Don’t even look at ’em!”

My dad would be considered a foreigner in Saudi Arabia. (Appropriately, I suppose, since that’s, by definition, what he is.) And there’s 3 classes of citizens in Saudi Arabia: Saudi Men, Saudi women and foreigners. Basically, if you’re a foreigner in Saudi Arabia, you can expect to be poorly treated by the locals. If you’re standing in line and a Saudi man wants to cut in front of you, he will… and he’ll feel justified in doing so.

The other thing the Saudi’s have is the (not-so) secret police, known as the police of vice and virtue. These cops have special dispensation throughout the country. As far as I know, they can’t enter your house without provocation – but they can go into schools, businesses, any public place, and check for what they consider to be blasphemy. And if you’re found to be behaving blasphemously, then you’re either stoned (and not the good way! – literally stones will be thrown at you until you die), or beheaded or you have a hand chopped off.

Lemme tell ya: Saudi Arabia…. STRICT!!

My dad was told that he wasn’t allowed to bring more than one bible into the country. You’re allowed your own personal bible – but if you’re bringing two bibles, then it’s surmised that you’re trying to convert people, and off go your hands and/or head!

Shit man… that’s a brutal place for musical theater.

Of course… it’s not all bad. Polygamy is legal in Saudi Arabia, but only for muslim men. In accordance with Sharia Law, muslim men are allowed to take up to 4 wives. Then again, since women are expected to wear head to toe burkas everyday, maybe it’s not the greatest thing in the world.

What’s the old saying? Polygamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same thing.

Y’know, now that I think about it, why aren’t we allowed polygamy here in Canada? What’s that you say, because it would make a travesty out of the noble institution called marriage? Doesn’t no-fault divorce already do that?

But, that’s an aside. Save that for the manosphere blog… Ooh, got plenty of rants ready for THAT blog!

Anyhoo, I’ll say this about Saudi Arabia. The gas has gotta be just dirt cheap! I bet it’s cheaper than friggin water!


August 15, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , ,

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