Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

Cannabis, paranoia, Rome: Total War and NHL 14

Man, I think I’m getting too old for cannabis.

I mean, last night, I had the house to myself. Which doesn’t happen very often, so I planned to take full advantage of the situation. So I rolled myself a couple doobers and set in to play a nice long session of Rome: Total War.

After I’m about halfway through the first dub, I start getting that nice tingly sensation all over – like my brain has decided to relax in a hot tub. It was very nice for 10 or 20 minutes… and then the paranoia takes over.

I guess the problem was that I was in a big empty house, and my brain is an asshole. So after about 20 minutes my brain starts whispering into my head, “Dude… did I just hear something?”

Christ – shut up brain, I’m trying to take over Europe here. I’m sure I heard nothing.

And then I’ll relax a bit and my brain will say, “Ok. I’m sure I heard something.”

I will tell my brain, It’s probably the house settling or something.

We’ll be ok for 2 or 3 minutes, before there’s either a minute creak somewhere within the house, or there’ll be some background noise on the game I’m playing that sounds like it came from over there, or a car will drive by which makes the house shake a bit, etc… Some minor, minor thing will happen and my brain will flare up. “Dude! That sound! It can only be a crazed, axe-wielding maniac who’s hiding outside your door at this very moment! We’re goners! AAAAH!!! Time to panic!”

Of course, my body is going to listen to my brain, so my palms will get clammy and my heart will start racing and I’ll be all tense. Then I will firmly and decisively tell my brain, Hey man, look, I’m a mathematician. It is extremely unlikely that there is an axe-wielding maniac in this house. The most likely thing that will happen is I’ll play my game, jerk off, and go to bed. So fucking relax, brain, and let’s figure out how we can take over the Iberian peninsula.

Then things will calm down for an hour or so. But then I’ll lose my buzz, and finish the other half of that doober I had. And of course my stupid brain will start up again, “Hey man. Let’s just go down to the basement just to be sure.”

Augh! Fuck off brain!

Yeah. So either I’ve outgrown cannabis or my brain is the asshole that people perceive ME to be! (It’s probably this 2nd one.)

It’s just too bad that cannabis has all these health benefits that I need to take advantage of: immunosuppresant, anti-inflammatory, promotes bone growth and kills cancer. So I doubt I’ll quit smoking it anytime soon. 

In other video game news, we’re less than a month away from the release of NHL 14. I’m super stoked!! NHL 14 is the only videogame I regularly play on the Xbox, so I don’t mind squandering a precious $70 on the latest roster update, because my annual Xbox costs are: $70 for NHL14 and $60 for Xbox live. That’s a little more than $10 a month, so it’s easily justified.

The demo for NHL14 drops this Tuesday (August 20th) and the general release is on the 10th of September. There’s supposed to be better collisions, a more improved Be A Pro (one of the few game modes I play), better deking ability, all sorts of stuff! Of course, I’ll be nitpicking to death once I’ve had sufficient time with it… but EA NHL is still (and has been for about 10 years) the best hockey video game out there. CAN’T WAIT!!!


August 18, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , ,

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