Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.


Hey gentle readers,

I’m on break until October 11th. I’ve got two things left to complete my PhD. One of them is a special comprehensive exam happening in under 3 weeks. Big pressure. Have to present in front of 3 profs and then handle all their questions. Lots of work to do.

See ya in October.


September 22, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

No one likes Stana Katic

So I was checking out which search terms people used to access this site, and one recent visitor got here by searching, “I hate Stana Katic.” That makes me so happy. We all know she’s the worst part of Castle. Honestly, just have Nathan Fillion be a sherrif somewhere so he can beat up the badguys and teach us right from wrong. Ooh, even better, have him be a sheriff in space! Wouldn’t that be awesome! And you could have a wise-cracking pilot, a magic negro disguised as a preacher – auuuugh, I miss Firefly. I’ll just have to watch it all again… and break my heart when Wash dies in Serenity.

Anyhoo, at the moment I am watching this show called Psych. It’s a’ight, in a cheesy sort of way. What happens is our roguish hero, Sean Spencer, has an eidetic memory and uncommon powers of observation, like a Sherlock Holmes type. Except he’s a bit of a goof-off and hasn’t really got a steady job. But his dad’s a retired cop, so Sean can’t help constantly calling the police with tips about local crimes. (Based on his Sherlock Holmes powers.) Eventually, for some convoluted reasoning, Sean tells the cops he’s a psychic. But that backfires when the cops hire him for a case. Hijinks ensue.

So that’s the setup – Sherlock Holmes type goof gets hired by the cops to solve crimes. He’s joined by his black best friend Gus, who’s generally the straight man and the voice of reason, and by his cop buddies Juliet and Det. Lassiter. Lassiter is a hard-boiled, straight-edge kinda character and Juliet is the hot chick cop that Sean is always trying to ‘get with’. And Sean’s dad is always every present in each episode – he’s a crusty, no-nonsense cop type.

Anyhoo, it’s pretty good in a cheesy sort of way. It’s shown on the USA network (or US network) in the states, and we have no such affiliates up here in Canada, so it’s certainly not very popular up here. But apparently it’s popular enough in the states to have done 8 seasons so far.

The show generally follows the standard police produral script, with a bit of humour thrown in by Sean and Gus. Sean is a real wise-cracking type – and would’ve been a better choice for The Amazing Spider-Man than the guy that wasn’t Tobey Maguire. The reason I started watching it was because I’d seen enough of the jokes in imgur format on reddit to make me curious. I’ve just started Season 2 and we’ll see how long I last with this show.

As for other shows I’ve got to watch, there’s still the first season of Broadchurch that I haven’t seen. It stars David Tennant, but the first 4 minutes when I watched didn’t immediately feature David Tennant, so I stopped watching. I’ll probably pick it up again when I get sick of Psych.

And I’m pretty sure I’ll get sick of Psych before too long. There are some dramatic elements to it, so if Juliet gets kidnapped or something and Sean has to save her, and so then Sean saves her but just as they go to kiss, Juliet’s boyfriend shows up – and that’s the cliffhanger for the end of the season? Anything like that happens and I’m dropping the show like a bagful of spiders. (Unless magic happens and I get super invested in the characters and I’m all like, “Noo! Juliet you moron! Go for Sean already, he’s perfect for you!”

Somehow I don’t see that happening.

September 18, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The Nazi Flying Saucers

Well well well…. I have in my greedy little hands a brand new copy of NHL14. Wazzah! I can now retire NHL13 to my Xbox games shelf where it will now sit forever and never get played again.

Welp, I did some digging and came up with a couple links about the Japanese A-Bomb tests during WWII. Now, their A-Bomb test came (allegedly) 3 days before the end of the war. So they’d already been nuked, and it wasn’t likely to turn the tide of the war. But then gain, maybe that’s just the cover story.

If you get deep enough into the WWII conspiracy theories, you’ll inevitably read about the secret Nazi flying saucer program. Now, on the face of it, this sounds fucking ludicrous. But as you dig deeper and deeper, things start to get more and more plausible. (Especially considering how many Nazis were brought into the fold of American intelligence after the war.)

So the secret Nazi flying saucer story has some credible ideas. The first idea is that the scientist Viktor Schauberger came up with a new means of locomotion by the rapid rotation of a superconductor. (Naturally, details are a bit sketchy.) But the idea is that a rapidly rotating superconductor will create a certain electrogravitic effect which, when properly harnessed, can create local gravity wells. What this means is that if a craft had such a means of locomotion, then it would be essentially “falling forward” due to its own local gravity – and the craft would move by extending this gravity well.

The next idea is that towards the end of the war, both allied and axis pilots reported seeing Foo Fighters. (No, not the band.) Foo fighters were, essentially, flying saucers or UFO’s as we think of them now. They were excitable balls of light which possessed unheard of flying characteristics compared to jet engine aircraft. They could go way faster than any production fighter of the time, they could turn on a dime, etc… 

As it happens, most of the Foo Figher sightings happened right around the time Germany had allegedly developed their gravity-well flying discs. Google Hanebu discs if you want more info.

Of course, with any good conspiracy theory, there’s a lot of unscientific rubbish surrounding it. If you do some research, you’ll eventually find reference to the Vril society and their nefarious connections to the Nazi Flying discs. As far as I can tell, the Vril society was just an offshoot of the Thule society (an actual Nazi occult secret society.) But there’s lots of stuff about how the Vril developed energy from a black sun and made contact with aliens and all sorts of other whosafudge.

Regardless, if both Germany and Japan can keep their (alleged) nuclear tests under wraps for almost 70 years, then think how easy it would be to keep the secret flying saucers under wraps when the Nazis managed to infiltrate every aspect of American government.

The truth is out there. And until next time, keep watching the skiiiis. [sic]

September 17, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A ramble about cold and sports journalism and stuff

Oooh baby is it ever cold out there today! Glorious! It’s a brisk 12 degrees Celcius outside, which is hovering right around an ideal day for me. What’s funny is that although it appears cold out now, come sMarch [sic] or April and any 12 degree day then is going to feel downright balmy. It’s all about context here in the 2nd coldest capital in the world. 

You know what I hate but can’t get enough of? Sports journalism. Generally, there’s very little to talk of in the world of sports outside of the actual game results. Case in point, the headline on the NFL.COM page right now, which reads: The Redskins are 0-2 and RGIII has struggled. Is it time to make a change in the nation’s capitol?

Oh man, talk about a made up media story. There’s been two weeks in the NFL, and so far the Skins have played the Eagles (where they lost by 6 pts) and the Packers (who kicked the shit outta them because the Packers lost week 1 to the 49ers.) That’s not a lot of data one can extrapolate from.

But the NFL is a cutthroat league – and if you’re not winning at the moment, there’s going to be a TREMENDOUS amount of pressure put on you to start winning. Especially if you’re in a football crazy town like Washington. 

Aside: That’s Washington DC we’re talking about. Is it a crazy football town? I know they’ve got the Hoggies Superfans… but do they have anything else? I thought that town was politics crazy. Maybe there’s a politics/football connection I don’t know about.

Anyhoo, yesterday also featured the 3rd and final Manning Bowl, which is where Peyton Manning’s team plays Eli Manning’s team. I thought the Giants might win, but Peyton and the Broncos kicked the everloving shit out of the Giants. So that Peyton is 3-0 in all the Manning Bowls. (Now the only way there could be a Manning bowl is if the two teams meet in the playoffs.)

How’s this for a scenario: Peyton takes the Broncos to the Superbowl this year and wins. So then both Eli & Peyton would have 2 Superbowl rings. Then next year, both the Giants and Broncos make it to the finals for an all-Manning-Superbowl to determine FOR REALS which brother is the better quarterback once and for all. I tell you, any network sponsor looking at that scenario would absolutely plotz. PLOTZ, I say!

Sadly, the mighty Minnesota Vikings lost the game with less than 20 seconds to go, when the stupid Bears who were trailing by 6 scored a late, last-minute touchdown. AP only had a measly 100 rushing yards – never gonna break 2500yds like that, AP.

Honestly though, AP is the greatest RB in the game today. Bar none. If the Vikes didn’t have AP they wouldn’t have anyone! (Quick, name another good player on the Vikings… See? It’s impossible.) It’s the AP show over there and we need to get some talent over there if we’re going to get him his deserved ring.

September 16, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Nazi A-Bomb.

Welp, it’s Sunday so it’s time to get back to goals.

I’ve been slacking on goals as of late – taking the previous two days off. This probably results from that awfully long Thursday I had last Thursday… Welp, back to work today.

Any successful goals day starts with a trip to the gym. So that’s what I did this morning – and man was it ever packed! Surprisingly so for a Sunday morning. But as it happens, the majority of people were there to attend a spinning class or a body pump class. So luckily there was no wait time for the bench.

Anyhoo, it’s Sunday so that also means football! However, since I’m big on goals today, I’ve got to follow the rule that there’s no internet/tv/games until all my goals are done. I’ve got about an hour left to go – 15 minutes of writing, 15 minutes of music practice and then 30 minutes of reading (15 minutes fiction, 15 minutes non-fiction) and then I’m done-zo!

Hmm…. Now then, what to write about?

Ooh, I stumbled upon a great new conspiracy theory about how the Nazis developed a nuclear bomb in 1944. The story goes something like this:

It’s well known that the Germans were the first to realize the awesome potential of the atom. (See Einstein, Lise Meitner and the guy she worked with who hogged all the credit… what’s his name? Otto Hahn, I think.) Further, the Nazis were pretty well the tech leaders of WWII.

So it goes that the top Nazi scientists came up with the idea for an A-bomb in 1943, and that their plan for the bomb called for much less fissile material than the US. (Which was a good thing too, since the US sabotaged the heavy water plant of the Germans in early 1943… I remember reading a story about how the Germans had a heavy water plant near some waterfall in an occupied, Nordic country, and these American commandos came in and blew the place up. (In fact, I’m surprised Hollywood hasn’t turned that into a movie yet.))

Anyhoo, the rest of the story has it that through decrypted ULTRA cables (which were declassified in the 70’s or 80’s or so), there was a distinct detection of a violent nuclear event picked up by Allied scout planes. And so apparently, the Germans tested a nuke on an island somewhere in 1944.

Of course, the Germans had poor plans for their A-Bomb. They sent one (ONE!) plane loaded up with an A-bomb towards New York. Of course, this plane was shot down and then the incident was covered up by the OSS.

Why Hitler decided that nuking New York would be more effective than nuking, oh, I ‘unno: London… Moscow… All the landed Allied forces in France… All the landed Allied forces in the South of Italy… etc…

There were a lot more viable and closer targets than Nueva York… But then again, by the end of it, Hitler was pretty wacked out on meth… so that may have clouded his judgment somewhat.

There’s another story about how Japan ALSO developed a nuclear bomb before (or right around the same time as) the Americans. But that’ll have to wait until another day.

What’s interesting is that there’s still tons of secret documents which haven’t been declassified since WWII. So for anyone who thinks they know the whole story about WWII, you’ve been had.

September 15, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A mighty ramble at the end of a stupid long day

What a bitch-ass-hornswoggle-crap-spackle-gut-bust-fish-fuck of a day. That’s right, fish fuck.

Man – my hectic academic schedule of one work day a week may have one big drawback. I am just ca-RAAA-zay busy all day. 

I was at school today for about 9:15ish, then the day went as follows: meeting with prof, meeting with other prof, get a coffee, give a lecture, meeting with student, meeting with earlier prof, meeting with yet a different prof, prep for class, TA class, meeting with another student. That took until about 3:45. Brutal – no time to eat or nothing. Just go go go!

Lemme tell ya, I sympathize with absolutely every schmoe that has to work in an office. You’re there at 9:00 in the morning, then either your day is busy – in which case it goes fast, the boring level is low but the stress level is high! – or your day is boring, in which case the day goes by slooooow, so the stress level is low, but the boring meter is HIGH!

Both my brothers have the luxury of working at union jobs – so they (while not technically allowed by the strictest definition of the law) are allowed to smoke weed on the job. Although that must be glorious, it must making being at work a drag. If I smoke a doober, the last thing I want to have to do is serious work that people depend on. I’d rather burn one down and play some video games. (Or do high-level theoretical mathematics.)

Anyhoo – had a date last night. This date was arranged online. And the chick turned out to be a lot fatter than her profile pictures. Bummerama. (Although I didn’t exactly play the male gender role of a strong, masculine leader, so I guess we were both disappointments to one another.)

Christ – there’s these yahoo kids outside lighting off firecrackers and yelling and generally being cunts. ‘Course, they’re the diplomats kids, so there’s very little discipline in their future for being such cunts. If they ever wind up impaled on some sort of gardening utensil, then the cops will trace this post back to me… which would be wise of them, ’cause I swear to ever-loving-Allah-on-crutches that I will murder each and everyone of those snot-nosed punks.

Well, maybe not… maybe I should just puff a dooberooni and mellow out.

Today is a ramble with no rhyme or reason. When it comes to winter, it’s my favorite season. If there’s one thing I like on crackers, it’s lots of cheezin. Someone shut the door, this room is freezin!

I don’t see why people say rap is so hard. Rap is easy, good rap is hard.

I tell ya who else I like is that Leo Sayer. (If you know which Simpsons episode that is from instinctively, then maybe you can possibly best me at a game of Simpsons trivia. But you can’t, ’cause that was an easy one…)

Welp, the mighty Patriots play the horrible New York Jets tonight in what promises to be a real crotch-punching for that rookie QB Geno Smith. (Psst, hey, lemme ask you a question. If someone were called Geno, wouldn’t you instinctively think they were some swarthy Italian? Me too… But apparently he ain’t.)

PS: It was the one where Barney became sober and learned how to fly a helicopter

September 12, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s conspiracy day!

Happy Conspiracy Day!

That’s right, I’m calling 9/11 as the official holiday for conspiracy theorists. Why? Well, September 11 was the defining moments of the 21st century, and no one really wants to talk about all the anomalies that happened that day.

First anomaly: How did two 110 story buildings collapse in about 15 seconds? There’s not enough energy contained in the top 3rd of a building to crush the bottom 2/3rds of a building in 15 seconds. Even if the steel was “weakened” by the fires, that doesn’t mean the structural integrity of the whole building has been compromised.

Here’s an experiment. Take 3 bricks. Stack the 3 bricks on top of each other. Now take the 1st brick and raise it up by a meter or so and drop it on the bottom 2 bricks. Does the brick crash through and demolish the bottom two bricks? Of course not, because the energy contained in the first brick will not be NEARLY sufficient to break the bottom two bricks.

So it is with WTC 1 and 2. The energy contained in the top 1/3rd of the building is not NEARLY sufficient to crush the remaining 2/3rds of the building in 15 seconds. (Here‘s a good link about the basic physics involved and why the collapse was physically impossible without the addition of a MASSIVE amount of secondary energy.)

2nd anomaly: The only 3 steel-framed buildings to EVER collapse due to fire all occured on 9/11. That should send up warning flags for anyone who understands the concept of mathematical probability. Two 110 story buildings with fires burning for less than an hour collapsed due to flame – and one 47 story building with small fires also collapsed.

How did such small fires collapse these buildings when larger fires in other steel-framed buildings didn’t result in collapse? That’s anomalous behaviour.

3rd anomaly: The hijacked flights were not intercepted by fighter jets, despite the fact that fighters intercepting planes is a routine occurrence. So we’re led to believe that these flights remained in their hijacked state for over an hour while the world’s largest air defense system did nothing?

4th anomaly: There were training exercises taking place on the morning of 9/11 involving hijacked aircraft which crashed into the Pentagon. The odds of a training exercise taking place on the very same day that the exact training exercise takes place in real life is unbelievably low. Again, another anomaly.

5th anomaly: The steel from the WTC’s was carted off to China within a month, despite the fact that all that steel was evidence in the greatest attack to ever occur on the mainland US. Actually, this is more than a federal crime than an anomaly.

6th anomaly: There was no investigation into the greatest homeland attack on US soil for over 2 years, before Bush finally succumbed to allowing an investigation. This investigation had a budget of about 5 million dollars. (For comparison, the budget for the Ken Starr investigation into Clinton’s chubby intern finger-banging was about 50 million.) 

I could go on and on, but my 15 minutes are up. Enjoy the rest of conspiracy day and remember, you’ve been lied to by your government about 9/11 and just about every major event of the 20th century

September 11, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment

Naps and the continuing struggles of the Get Up Early Initiative

Why are naps so awesome?

Why is it that I can be so tired during the day, then take a nap for an hour – and aside from the immediate post-nap grogginess, I feel a million times better afterwards.

I thought sleep was all about REM and the amount of REM one gets is directly tied to how refreshed they feel in the morning. This is why the polyphasic sleep schedule works, because you go right into REM sleep and end up getting more REM sleep on average.

(For the uninitiated, the polyphasic sleep schedule is one where you go to sleep for 20 minutes every 4 hours. I’ve always wanted to try it, but I’d need a good two week block in order to reorient my sleep schedule.)

The reason I point this out is because today, as you have guessed, I was very tired when I woke up and took a nap around 2:30. When I woke up at 3:30, about 15 minutes later after the post-nap grogginess wore off, I was feeling much more refreshed. (That should read, I AM feeling more refreshed, since all this happened a little while ago.) But I didn’t dream of anything during my nap.

Today was a perfect day for a nap too. It’s grey and rainy out, 18 degrees out – which isn’t really cold, but is relatively cold for what should be a summer’s day. When I started my nap at 2:30, there were no wiener kids yelling about in the street… Nice breeze coming through my windows. Blankie over my feet… Nap city. It was awesome.

And why was I so tired, I hear no one asking but myself and my solipsism? Well, I didn’t even turn out the lights last night until 10:30pm. Then due to onset insomnia, I didn’t fall asleep until after 11:30pm – probably closer to 12:00. My alarm went off at 6:00am – and this would’ve been about the 3rd or 4th straight day with only about 6 solid hours of sleep. Add on top of that an intense lifting session at the gym yesterday, and there’s no doubt as to why I was so tired this morning.

That’s the problem with the Get Up Early Initiative, you can’t be farting around on the internet past your bedtime. The G.U.E.I. requires iron-willed self-discipline in order to get to bed on time every night so you can rise with the dawn. If you “rack-a disc-i-prine”, then you’ll either be tired all day, or you’ll hit snooze a bunch of times and get up at 8:00.

What I’m worried about now, is that as I took a nap today, I wont be tired enough come bedtime, and I’ll stay up to midnight again! Causing me to be tired tomorrow morning when I get up at 6:00 – requiring another nap during the day and then I’m caught in this vicious cycle!

Well, I’m going to see what I can do to stop that tonight. I’ll turn off my computer at 9:30, hop into bed (maybe surreptitiously smoke a doober) and try to get to sleep for 10:00. Man, if I could get 8 hours of sleep on the reg I would be so happy…

In other news, NHL14 gets wide release today! I’ll probably pick it up tomorrow, seeing as how I’m not doing much of anything for the rest of today. Man, hockey’s gonna start up at the end of this month and then we’ll be blessed with the awesome fall sports madness of combined NFL football and NHL hockey! It’s going to be glorious!

September 10, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Chickenhawk American Government

So I was hanging out with my buddy last night watching football and drinking beer. And he’s a policy wonk and pretty damn smart and knows a lot about political machinations and the ways of the world.

So I asked him, “Why is it that the US still has credibility when it comes to foreign intelligence, in light of Iraq? I mean, they basically falsified intelligence and lied to the UN about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction. So why on Earth should anyone believe them now?”

He admitted it was a good question. Although he did point out that, when it comes to capability, there’s no one on Earth that can touch the US. The US has enormous HUMINT resources, along with technological superiority and budgetary superiority. (Although I’d argue budgetary superiority doesn’t mean squat in a bureaucracy, but I digress.)

He’s right, in a sense. The US is untouchable when it comes to tech and the amount of intelligence they have. I mean, the US regularly sends up billion dollar spy satellites. It’s not every country in the world that can just launch stuff into space whenever they feel like it.

But in my view, the US definitely has a credibility problem when it comes to foreign conflict. If you had to name a successful middle-Eastern conflict where the US intervened successfully, you’d have a hard time doing so.

Afghanistan? Uh… no.

Iraq. That’s a hell no! (And this includes the first Gulf War – even though the first Gulf War was a “success” by operational terms (liberated Kuwait, flexed the military muscle of the US and kicked the shit out of the arms we sold to Iraq), it still left Saddamn Hussein in power. And as we had to go back into Iraq (for fraudulent reasons) to remove Saddamn Hussein, then in that sense, the first gulf war was unsuccessful.)

Egypt? Nope – that’s a civil war waiting to happen.

Sudan? No. Somalia? No. Rwanda? Uh, last I checked, genocide of a people was not a successful resolution.

Libya? It was better off under Gaddafi, most likely.

Iran? Well, the Shah of Iran worked well for 25 years… until it backfired horribly!

So basically, the US has had zero successful military interventions in the middle east. They’ve recently falsified intelligence in order to invade another country, and have previously falsified intelligence or events in order to invade another country. (Gulf of Tonkin event.) 

Yet people still listen to the US as if it had anything honest or constructive to say!

Realistically, when it comes to Syria, the US will do whatever it wants in order to achieve the desired outcomes. In this case, it appears the desired outcome is another invasion! 

Well, Syria’s got a bunch of oil… so I guess it goes to figure…

September 9, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

Football Sundays are back!

Hey, 100th post! Arbitrary base-10 anniversary!

Welp, today is the first NFL Sunday for the next 20 or so weeks. Awesome sauce! 

I’m a Vikings fan, so I’m hoping that the mighty AP comes up big today! We’re playing the Lions today, so it could go either way. Hopefully no one gets shot on the way to or from the Detroit stadium.

Any other notable games? There’s the Pats @ The Bills, where the mighty Patriots should put a pretty big hurtin’ on the hapless Bills. Also, there’s Atlanta @ New Orleans – I’m looking for New Orleans to come out fighting. Sean Payton’s returned and he’ll be mad about the lost year. I betcha there’s a big bounty on Matt Ryan’s head! 

Green Bay plays San Fran in the afternoon game. Will Colin Caepernick return to his bicep-kissing ways? Or will Aaron Rodgers throw for 600 yds and stomp all over everyone. Tonight’s game is the Giants at Dallas – two teams I don’t really like, so my preferred outcome is that the giant Dallas scoreboard collapses and crushes both teams.

Tomorrow night is a double-header: Philly @ Washington and Houston @ San Diego. Does San D still have Norv ‘Freakin’ Turner as their coach? Man, something’s wrong with San D – either the weather is too nice or Philip Rivers just isn’t as good as everyone says he is, but they’ve been loaded with talent for a long time and never gotten anywhere. I’m gonna blame it on the weather – when everyday is 27 degrees and sunny, it’s tough to get riled up about anything.

Of course, NFL pre-game shows started at 9:00am this morning. 9:00am! That’s 4 hours before game time. Man, that’s a lotta forced laughter…

Now, I’m heading out to a pub to watch the Green Bay game with a buddy of mine. (A buddy of mine who’s in the schlub league with me, so we’ll be rooting for individual players on different teams to both succeed and fail – and likely paying little attention to the overall game.) But this morning I’ll be sticking to Red Zone. I’m sure I’ve mentioned how great NFL Red Zone is before – well, I’ll say it again.


Seriously, your average NFL game has too many fucking commercials. There’ll be a drive, then if there’s a score, it’ll be score – commercial – kickoff – commercial – drive. If it’s a punt, it’ll be punt – commercial – drive. Terrible. 

Plus, the commercials are geared towards your average NFl fan – which, as far as I can ascertain, is a fat, truck-driving, beer drinking, cialis-needing, pizza eater with an IQ of about 85. 

Well, I suppose if they had ads for classic literature and astronomy kits, they probably wouldn’t be aired during NFL prime time.

September 8, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | Leave a comment