Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

Honey Bunches The Scaboozler

Let me tell  you what a Scaboozler is.

A Scaboozler is someone who must fidget with something, regardless of whether this thing needs fidgeting with or not.

A Scaboozler is someone who’ll eat all their fries then eat some of your fries too.

A Scaboozler is someone who’ll take the last donut, despite having already had 2 boston cremes and a cruller.

A Scaboozler is someone who, when sitting next to you, must change how they are sitting every 30 seconds or so.

A Scaboozler is someone who, when snuggled up against you, will constantly change positions so as to disrupt overall coziness.

A Scaboozler is someone who displays weasel behaviour, but with such charm and panache that you can’t help but love them.

Let me tell you, I slept with a Scaboozler last night. Here is a picture of the brute:

mackthescaboozler 001

 

Oh sure, he seems cute and fluffy and that he might like to stay nestled at the foot of your bed. But he wont. He’ll start by ever so slightly, shifting position as to cut off any leg movement you might have.

What's that? You wanted leg room? Well fuck you buddy!

What’s that? You wanted leg room? Well fuck you buddy!

Worse than simply restricting my legular freedom, which can be corrected with a bit of a shove. Every 5 minutes or so, he’ll release the most heartbreaking sigh, as if to say, “Oh, you cannot possibly comprehend the woes I have suffered.” These are very audible throughout the night.

I'll never get back that bitch I left in Paris.

I’ll never get back that bitch I left in Paris.

So, needless to say, I didn’t get a very good sleep last night. Normally, I’d be furious at whomever disturbed my slumber, but I just can’t stay mad at this gorgeous punum.

You'll get 3 hours of sleep and still love me!

You’ll get 3 hours of sleep and still love me!

Oh Honey Bunches, you’re just so adorable. And as I write this, fueled by coffee, you’re sleeping soundly on the bed. Meanwhile, I will be cranky and yawning throughout the day, while you get to snuggle down and relax.

Don't even think of napping, bud. This is my bed!

Don’t even think of napping, bud. This is my bed!

Anyhoo, today might be a little rough. Also, it’s super cold out and rainy. November is a grey and miserable month. Not like December, which is generally bright. I think this is because November constantly teeters between rain and snow, whereas December is all about snow. December usually has bright winter days, where it’s -10 and sunny – so it’s plenty cold, but it’s always cheerful when the sun is shining.

Today, the sun is not shining, my coffee has gone cold, and the dog is hogging my bed. What a Scaboozler. Cute though!

Advertisements

November 12, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: