Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

It’s crazy cold out.

So it’s -30 out there today with the windchill. I’ve got an 8:30 appointment at the gym this morning, but I don’t have a car. So I’m getting dropped off at about 8:00 or so and then I’ve got to walk home. That’s a 30 minute walk in -30 degree weather after having done legs! Maybe I’ll take a cab… I think 10 bucks is worth skipping the freezing cold walk.

Anyhoo… what else? I managed to get up at 5:00 today, despite the comfy bed gravitational anomaly’s powerful effects. My alarm was set for 4:30, so I could hit snooze 3 times… just to enjoy that coziness. My sheets aren’t flannel though.. which is mandatory for Canadian winter – so there’s essentially one warm spot in bed. If I shift to either side, I’m greeted by freezing cold cotton sheets… 

Whatever… It’s Monday! I’m almost on holidays. Only 2 lousy tutorial center days this week before I’m off until mid-January or so. Of course, I haven’t done any of my Christmas shopping yet… I’ll need to get on that soon. I sure as hell don’t want to be going to any sort of shopping mall the last weekend before Christmas. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s braving the teeming masses of humanity in order to spend money. Snuh.

Hmmm… What else?

Oh, as predicted, that post entitled, “Milk Sucking Story” has shot up the charts and has become my 2nd most viewed post of all time. My number 1 most viewed post is about how much Stana Katic sucks… so that makes me happy.

But man, based on the search terms, I don’t know what kind of mood people are in when they stumble across this blog. The number one search term of all time is ‘milk sucking story.’ Sure, fine… we can all appreciate milk sucking stories. *eye roll*

But recent search terms have me perplexed. “Marijuana yoga pants.” What the hell kinda porn is that? “Ooh… I want to look at hot girls in yoga pants who are also smoking up! That’s my kink, baby!” Well… whatever. Porn has expanded kinks to new and dangerous places.

It used to be, men were turned on by average kink: like threesomes or girl on girl. Now, thanks to porn, that stuff is commonplace, so in order to get off, people are taking their kinks further and further. I know, for myself, whereas I used to get off on simple things like, “Big tits” and such. Now, I’ll barely get a chubby unless there’s a redheaded midget dressed in latex, peeing on a hairy transsexual dressed up in diapers.

Hey, we all have strange and horrible new kinks thanks to porn.

Guh – just checked the weather again. There’s a 20km/h wind blowing out there, so we’ve got some serious wind chill. It’s -21 right now, going up to a high of -18. That’s a pretty low high…

Man, you know I’m writer’s blocked when I’m talking about weather on a blog! It’s like, “Hey audience, I’m full of interesting ideas that I want to put forth and record for all time. But if there’s one important message I get across, it’s that today’s weather is cold!”

I shoulda been a journalist. In today’s soft-media, they’d be all over the breaking story that it gets cold in the winter.

Coming up next, how do they get those dogs to talk in beer commercials? We’ll have Cowboy Steve with sports and funny, Sunny Storm with the weather.


December 16, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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