Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

The racist basketball guy and equality is still bullshit

Pretty terrible how free speech is slowly but surely being eroded from our lives.

Take the latest example: a crazy old billionaire said a racist thing in private, and so now they’re banning him from the NBA. I’m not too sure exactly what he said, something about how he doesn’t want his girlfriend hanging around with black people. (Or that black people shouldn’t come to his games, or something. And also, his girlfriend is half-black…) Whatever he said, it was racist.

But he’s still free to say it. Despite how abhorrent the sentiment, he’s still allowed to basically say whatever he wants, as long as it’s not incitement to violence. (Shouting “Fire!” in a crowded theatre.) 

Actually, now that I think about it, that’s not a particularly good example. He did say whatever racist stuff he wanted, but then when it was broadcast to the world, people began excoriating him. I guess the bigger problem I have is that he yells stuff in a fight with his girlfriend, and it’s held against him. That’s what I don’t like. I think one should be allowed an expectation of privacy – especially in the heat of the moment.

Yeah, that’s more my deal, it’s that the expectation of privacy has gone out the window.

Well, not really. There’s still that Mozilla guy who got fired (or forced to step down) because he gave money to an “anti gay marriage” bill. That’s a free speech shut down.

As far as I know, the Mozilla guy didn’t discriminate against gay people at work or let it affect his hiring policy. So why should he be fired for some “politically incorrect” opinions. We don’t even hear his side of the story! Just – nope, you support a thing we (the mainstream) don’t support, so therefore your ideas are scary and dangerous, and so you must be fired.

This political correct bullshit creeps into our lives, and it doesn’t seem to me like many people notice. Ideas like, “We are all equal.” What utter nonsense. 

The equality thing is particularly galling to me, as I’m a mathematician, so I deal with equalities every day. The word equal means “the same”, “interchangeable”, “identical”, etc… When someone says, “Men and woman are equal.” That’s an unequivocally false statement. Men and women are distinctly different.

In fact, any two people are different – by definition, you are a person – one person – there is no other you, and therefore, no one – indeed, nothing on the planet – is equal to you. 

But if we even stray away from the dictionary definition of equal, and interpret “equality” as meaning, “equal opportunities”, “equal under the law” or “equal outcomes” – then again, all of those ideas are ridiculous bullshit.

People can’t have equal opportunities by virtue of people being different. Wealthy people will always have more opportunities than poor people. The solution here isn’t to take money from the rich and give to the poor – that just makes everybody poor. But people in different countries have different opportunities – people have more opportunity to ski in Switzerland than they do in the Arizona badlands. The solution here isn’t to force everyone to live in the same place.

Equal under the law is a crock – people have different lawyers, each of different quality. Better lawyers give me a better opportunity to win my case. 

Equality is a crock.

Anyhoo, whatevs, relax and smoke a doob bud. Enjoy the decline. Laugh and shake your head at this nonsense.

April 29, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday Morning Game of Thones Madness! S4E4

Oh boy! It’s Monday, and you know what that means! It’s the all-spoiler, all-snark, Game of Thrones roundup! Season 4, Episode 4.

We open with Worm (the head of the unsullied) trying to learn English from Danerys’s chief concubine. (Or translator… or whatever need the mother of dragons might need for a frizzy haired black woman.) Anyhoo, some fluffworthy backstory stuff happens about how Worm only wants to kill the masters, and yes, there is indeed a person behind this unsmiling mask. But enough of that, Danerys wants to sack another city!

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The shippers collectively gasp!

So Khaleesi gets her slaves to free the slaves of Mereen, and so she takes the city. But as you’ll recall, she was pretty pissed off about how the builders of Mereen crucified all those slave children. (What, a proper burial? They’ll do much better as road markers.) So Danerys sees fit to half-crucify 162 of the Mereen nobles. (This wins points with the slaves, but the noblemen frown on her shenanigans… before dying from blood loss from the crucification.)

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My nose is so itchy! If only my hand weren’t nailed to this cross…

And that’s it for Khaleesi this week. No dragons, just building up her slave army. (How exactly does she give the slaves freedom, if they’re immediately expected to fight for her? Whatevs…)

Moving on, we’re back to King’s Landing.

Jaimie has gotten better with his sword, but is a bit of a dick as a brother, since he hasn’t seen Tyrion yet. Bron reminds him of this – Jaimie seems pretty sour having gotten advice from a measly sell-sword. But it works, and he goes to see Tyrion in medieval jail.

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There’s better women out there than those related to you… alls I’m saying.

Tyrion and Jaimie have a little chat about how they both know Tyrion didn’t kill Joffrey, but Cersei is a bit of a ‘catch u next Tuesday’, who wants Jaimie to kill Tyrion… Women! But they both still have brotherly affection for each other, so Jaimie promises to look after Tyrion’s affairs while he’s held in stir. (Mostly to run interference for him on behalf of Cersei.)

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Plenty of women who aren’t related to you who you can fuck.. just saying…

As the brothers have a brief chat about how odd it is that Sansa disappeared the night Joffrey was murdered, we smash-cut to:

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I call her “Bitchy Resting Face Redhead”

Sansa’s aboard Littlefinger’s boat. Littlefinger, who seems more and more “rapey”, tells her they’re going to the Vale where Aunt Crazy lives with her 12-year old breast feeding son. I think Littlefinger says something like, “I always get what I want” while staring right at Sansa’s boobs. Creepy.

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I’m so not a creeper. I just want to take 14 year old Sansa back to my house and make her my wife. What’s so creepy about that?

Star-wipe to gramma Tyrell (who I found out is the actress who played Emma Peel in the 60’s show, “The Avengers.”) and Margaery Tyrell walking in a garden and plotting. Emma Peel *heavily* implies that she had Joffrey murdered. (This was referenced in Littlefinger’s rapey talk with Sansa, about how her necklace was from him and contained poison. Also, he said he had him killed.) Gramma tells Margaery to go seduce Tommen to start loosening Cersei’s grip on the throne.

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You had Joffrey killed? I’m very serious and hot..

Cut to Castle Black. Jon Snow’s training the brothers to fight. Jerk Commander takes exception and tells him to go be a steward. A newcomer (I think his name is Boros? I ‘unno… too many goddamn characters.) sidles up to Jon and wins his confidence. If you’ll remember, this guy cut off Jaimie’s hand – so I can’t remember if he’s good or bad or what he’s up to. (I assume he’s up to no good, ’cause absolutely everyone in this book is generally up to no good.) Oh yeah, at the wall, he calls himself “Locke” and makes up a story as to why he’s at the wall. Yyyyyeeeeah, he’s probably up to no good.

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My name might be Boros? Or Todos? Who knows….os

Back at King’s Landing, Jaimie goes to see Cersei (who’s drunk off her ass) to run interference. She bitches up the place and yells at Jaimie to go find Sansa. More bitching about Brienne for some reason.. (Oh right, ’cause they’re both in love with Jaimie…) Then bitching about how Tommen doesn’t have enough guards. Jaimie realizes he’s not going to get lucky and leaves.

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[bitching intensifies]

Meanwhile, Margaery steals into Tommen’s room and plays patty cake with him. She’s like, 18, and Tommen’s like 12 or 13 – basically at peak ‘accidental boner’ age, so he’s putty in her cutie-pie face. The seducing of the pre-teen King has begun.

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Did I mention I have boobs, and as the king you’re allowed to touch them?

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Really? Boobs rule…

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Margaery: You can keep a secret, can’t you?
Tommen: I’m desperately trying to keep my boner a secret right now!

The next morning, Jaimie and Brienne are yakking it up about how awesome Jaimie used to be before he lost his hand. Jaimie, being of questionable family morals at this point, gets Brienne to promise to go find Sansa. He gifts her with some fancy looking armour and his own Valeryian steel blade. I think it’s safe to say that Jaimie is not going to be loyal to the Lannister clan for much longer. Also, Pod gets to go along with her as her squire – so, nice happy ending for Pod. Anyhoo, Brienne’s out of King’s Landing, off to find Sansa, have terrific adventures, and hopefully not get raped.

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She’s blonde… but she’s not my sister, so m’eh.

Back at Castle Black, Jerk Commander (Sir Allistair) realizes that Jon is more popular than he’ll ever be. He needs to get rid of Jon Snow – but how? Suicide mission, that’s how.

So Jerk Commander gets Jon to get some volunteers together and go North to Craster’s to kill the mutineers who killed Mormont. Ol’ tricky dick “Locke” gets to go as volunteer… so I’m almost SURE this guy is up to no good.

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Can I come? I can fight, plus I can murder people in the night…

Then we get a glimpse inside Crasters. It’s about as happy as you could imagine – a bunch of rapists and thieves who haven’t seen women in 10 years all of a sudden let loose with booze and women? Yeah, it’s a rape shack now. Also, the leader looks like a poor mans Willem Dafoe, who drinks wine out of a skull. I’m calling them Team Kickass!

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Alas, poor Yorick. Couldn’t handle an axe to the face.

Also, one of Craster’s daughters comes forth with the last born male son. Team Kickass decides to sacrifice the baby to the White Walkers – so they just leave it outside in the snow.

 

But at the same time, we star-wipe to Bran, Jojen and his sister and Hodor, who are trying to ignore the cries of the baby. Jon goes into warg-mode, and warg-jumps into Summer and goes chasing after the baby. But Summer gets trapped, so Bran & the gang have to go save him. They crawl up to Craster’s keep but accidentally get captured. Team Kickass does not treat them like their highborn status demands.

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Three eyed crow? The fuck are you talkin’ bout?

Then we end on a long shot of a White Walker carrying the baby to his magical White Walker lair. He taps the baby with his magic White Walker stick, and the baby turns into a White Walker!!! This means Craster’s incest boys are all the White Walkers! Nutty butters!

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The spice must flow

And that’s it for this episode! A bit of a slow episode, but the gears are slowly turning on this season… There’s some baaaaad stuff that’s gonna go down, I just know it!

See ya next time!

April 28, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A ramble for stalkers.

Wicked Wednesdays!

Meh, I wish…

So… Coming into today’s post with nothing much to talk about and not a lot going on. So I’ll talk about me, that’ll be interesting! (to me…)

Well, what’s new? I’m currently working on a math paper, about stuff related to my Masters thesis. I think I’ve found a way to get a recursive formula for twisted convolution sums. I’ll have to calculate the product of a certain Lambert series with associated trigonometric term, express that as a sum of various power series, then deduce a power series equation with the original Lambert series product. Then I can substitute in an appropriate function and boom, recursive formula for twisted convolution sums. I’ll probably do that once I’m done my PhD. 

Of course, my prof wants me to do a bunch of papers for my PhD research, and judging by how long this one is taking, that’ll take all of the rest of the year. I should really try and get a couple papers published by the end of the summer, then I can finish up my PhD, get a postdoc somewhere, and spend all my days smoking weed and doing math.

My plan at the moment is to get an NSERC postdoc. They’ll give me $40,000 CDN to work with just about anyone I want. Naturally, I’ll just work with my current prof – who’s pretty hands off – so I can just spend most of my days smoking weed and doing math.

Man, that’ll be the life. I can see it now

Get up early, but have a nice leisurely morning – drink coffee, watch the sunrise, slowly wake up. Then go work out – back home for a shower and breakfast. Then I can run whatever errands I have for the day – leaving me done all my “outside” chores by noon at the latest, so I can load up a big fat bowl and take a huge hit, turn on “Dopesmoker” by sleep on continuous replay and do math until the sun goes down.

Then finish up at night with some Let’s Plays, writing and reading… and more weed, tv, video games… oh man, life would be sweet.

Of course, I’m a huge introvert – so the idea of spending all my time alone appeals to me. I love the notion of being like Desmond in Lost. (Not the pushing the button every 108 minutes.) Being on a deserted island, following a nice routine everyday, nothing but peace and quiet. No phones ringing… No kids yelling… Just, silence… and the heavy, frog-stomping sounds of “Dopesmoker.” Righteous.

Anyhoo, that’s the plan. For now, I’ve just got to keep plugging away at these papers.

Oh, I start teaching my class two weeks from yesterday. It’s the same class I taught last summer, so I don’t even need to make any other notes! Talk about easy street! I can only hope there’s a bunch more 20-year old chicks with bodacious racks in my class. From all the internet documentaries I’ve seen, their extra credit assignment will be sleeping with me.

What else – Oh yeah, I sort’ve figured out why I like the book, “I, Claudius” so much. It’s because it’s such a great setup! Claudius is lame, has a stutter, and is therefore assumed to be some kind of moron by his elders. (Well, all the elders and cousins that are dicks, anyway.) But this means Claudius can be in the room while Livia and Tiberius discuss their secret plans. In fact, this is stupid, as Claudius is shown to be particularly brilliant, especially at organizing thoughts and ideas. 

Right now in the book, Germanicus has just died (possibly been murdered) and Tiberius is trying to maintain his status as Emperor, while keeping the rest of Rome from rioting. All while trying not to get poisoned by Livia.

I think the next fiction book I’m going to read will be Book 4 of the Game of Thrones series. From the show, I know we’re midway through book 3 – but some stuff is being borrowed from book 4 and 5. I remember starting book 4 but stopping after 100 pages ’cause it was all about Cersei and who really cares? But now that I can associate names to faces from the show, I have a feeling Book 4 will be a lot more intruiging.

This has been another scintillating “all about me” ramble!

April 23, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Matt Cooke needs a crowbar to the shins.

Welp, not every post gets to be a GoT recap, I fear. Prepare your sphincters, it’s Tuesday morning let down!

And what a let down today is – it’s raining out, there were workers here all morning banging away and being disruptive, and Matt Cooke is still an NHL player.

Christ, what’s it gonna take before this asshole gets suspended? Look at this blatant knee-on-knee collision from last night’s game:

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He only got 2 minutes on the play!! 2 minutes for kneeing – even though a kneeing penalty can be as high as a “5 and a game”. So he’s got an in-person hearing with the NHL discipline board tomorrow, which means they have the opportunity to give him more than a 5 game suspension.

If I’m the league, I’m going to

  1. Suspend him for the rest of the playoffs.
  2. Suspend him for a large number of regular season games next season.

On the CBC, they were calling for a 41 game suspension for next season, but I’d go further. I’d give him a full 82-game suspension – maybe even 100 game suspension, something ridiculous.

Here’s a quote from the CBC:

This is a guy who targeted Mats Sundin’s knee, targeted Milan’s Hejduk’s knee, took out Eric Cole’s knee, damaged Erik Karlsson’s knee, seriously injured Vinny Lecvalier’s knee, nailed Matthew Lombardi in the head, smoked Ryan McDonagh in the head and, perhaps worst of all, drilled Marc Savard in the head on a blind-side hit that led to the Boston Bruins centre retiring prematurely.

Seriously, the guy’s a fucking menace. Considering his past history, he’s lost all benefit of the doubt here. His previous “3 years clean” record can be forgotten. What we have is a repeated history of dirty hit after dirty hit. Throw the fuckin’ book at him.

I would be very happy if they just banned him from the league, fined him $1,000,000 and kicked him in the balls a couple times. Hanging’s too good for him.

This is a pretty big blow for the Avalanche. Tyson Barrie (2 assists, +2 in 3 games played) is (as I understand) a big piece for the defense of Colorado. The guy’s only in his 2nd season and put up almost 40 pts in the regular season. That’s a non-trivial number of points! Now with his injury (plus Benoit with a possible concussion), the Avs. are looking a little shaky on the blue-line.

To be fair, I haven’t followed the West at all, so I don’t know what their depth is like. But just going off what the talking heads are saying on tv, this is a major blow for the Avs.

When evil lurks in the heart of men, the weak throw up their hands and prey that ‘karma’ will eventually sort everything out. Well, I don’t believe karma works efficiently enough, for my liking. If I lived in the States and were just a wee bit more unhinged, I might decide myself to be an “agent of karma”, and then bash Matt Cooke’s knees in with a bat. 

Actually, now that I think of it, isn’t declaring yourself an “agent of karma” merely a great way to take advantage of those naive optimists who believe in karma in the first place. I tell ya, Batman might not be big in India – but an Indian Batman who declares himself an “agent of karma” and goes around fighting criminals, that’d sell like hotcakes.

Just need a name… Lesseee…. Indian super-hero name… The Calcutta Kid? The Delhi Destroyer? The Battering Bangalore?

Well… that’ll be one to think of for tomorrow. 

In closing, fuck Matt Cooke in his stupid face.

April 22, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday Morning Game of Thrones Spoilerama!

It’s Monday, so that means it’s time for another spectacular Game of Thrones recap!

It’s episode 3 of season 4, and we open with a glorious shot of that dead little shit Joffrey.

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Stay dead, fucker.

Anyhoo, Sansa escapes with Sir Drunkos [sic] to Littlefinger’s ship! (Oh no! He’s such an obvious bad guy, especially after he murders Sir Dontos.) So Sansa has escaped King’s Landing but is now at the mercy of Littlefinger. Out of the frying pan…

Also, Tyrion gets taken away by the guards, charged with Joffrey’s murder. It’s a good thing Tyrion isn’t a psychic and didn’t manage to get away, ’cause then he’d be a small medium at large. *snerk*

Margary Tyrell (Margery? Maergaery? Stick to a fucking regular spelling, George R. R. Martin) and her Grammy-gramms then plot a bit about how to get more power. Gramma harps on about how the Lannisters and the Tyrells need each other, so don’t fret honey pie, you’ll be Queen soon. Margaery just pouts.

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It’s hard to pout with such a cutie-pie baby face.

Then Tywin goes and talks to the new king, Lil’ Tommen. Tommen is young, and so is much more pliable in the hands of his father than Joffrey was. (There was some comment on reddit/r/gameofthrones about how when Joffrey is choking, Twyin runs to comfort Tommen. So although it might’ve been Gramma Tyrell who poisoned Joffrey, Tywin is not above suspicion.)

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Then Jaimie shows up and cries a bit with Cersei about their dead son. Then he rapes her. In front of their dead son. Yup.

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Meanwhile, Arya and the Hound are traipsing the countryside, trying to figure out where they are and how to get to The Eyrie. They happen upon a farmer, who invites them back for dinner. Big mistake. The Hound brains the father and steals his silver. But at least they get a good meal… and Arya can start developing a real hatred for The Hound.

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Then back at The Wall, fat Sam is worried about Gillie and her incest baby. So he moves her to a town south of the Night’s Watch. Snore. I always hated the stupid Sam & Gillie chapters when I was reading the book, and it’s no different here. No pic, let’s move on quickly.

On Dragonstone, Stannis is yelling at The Onion Knight ’cause Stannis is a bit of a dick. The Onion Knight proposes buying an army, but Stannis is all like, “I’ve got no money!” So The Onion Knight goes for his reading lesson with the half-fish daughter, then has a “House” moment on how to get some money for Stannis. He starts writing a letter and we’re left to wonder how he’s going to get the money.

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It’s not lupus!

Back in King’s Landing, Tywin and Oberon Martell have a little sit-down. Tywin wants Oberon on the small council for the new king, and to appear as one of the judges at Tyrion’s trial. Tywin entices Oberon to do this by promising him a meeting with The Mountain (who you’ll recall, raped and murdered Oberon’s little sister.) Clearly Tywin has some ulterior motive up his sleeve, but I’m betting so does Oberon. (Oberon is also known as Mediterranean Liam Neeson.)

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The deal at the brothel

And then we happen upon poor old Tyrion. He’s obviously been framed for Joffrey’s murder, since, as he put it, “If I’d have killed him, I’m certain I would have arranged it so that I wasn’t standing there gawking at him while he died.” Very apt logic. Anyhoo, Pod tries to help out Tyrion, but Tyrion, being the noble sort, tells Pod to get out of King’s Landing. Manly tears are shed.

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Farewell Podrick.

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Farewell, my Lord.

Then back to the Castle Black story. We see the Wildlings, along with the cannibals from last time, raid a peaceful village (which may be South of the Wall, it’s hard to tell.) Anyhoo, the cannibals let one kid run to Castle Black to tell them what they’ve done. The jerk commander (and Snow) wisely see that it’s a trap to draw them out, so there will be no reaction from the Night’s Watch. However, we then learn that the Watchmen who turned on Mormont at Craster’s house are setting up shop North of the Wall. This is big trouble, as Jon Snow told the Mance Rayder that there were 1000 men at Castle Black. Of course, the turncoats know better – so Jon Snow proposes they ride North and kill them all, so the turncoats don’t spill their secret to the Wildlings. The jerk commander reluctantly agrees.

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Jon Snow: Leader of Men, Haver of Fabulous Hair.

Finally, we end on Danerys storming the slave town of Mereen. There’s some shenanigans when a Mereen rider comes out of the city to challenge one of Danerys’s champions. Of course, the swarthy dude ices him and Danerys looks aroused. (Poor old Jorah, he will always be friendzoned.)

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I keeeeeeeel you

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My jimmies have been rustled.

Then Khaleesi makes a speech how the enemy of the slaves of Mereen are the people who put them in chains in the first place. So then she catapults the city with barrels full of broken chains. The slaves… eventually seem to catch on.

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And that’s where it ends! Cut to black, that’s the episode!

Oh man, are doings ever a transpirin’. I’m psyched for next Monday. Stay tuned!

April 21, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Caravan stoned deliverance

Happy 4/20! Let’s get stoned and eat Easter chocolate!

Well, I managed a brief moment of 4/20 observation last night, but didn’t indulge in the full “super-kief-bong-hit” tradition that 4/20 requires. I will have to save my liturgy for this weekend when my parents go away.

Anyhoo, I followed my Shogun 2:Total War plan – downloaded and started playing it last night. It’s a bit different than Rome:TW, but the idea’s the same: start with a small section of land and try to conquer the map. Here’s the map:

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In my game, I started as the Shimazu clan, on the South/Western island of Kyushu. I’m gradually consolidating power in this region before expanding my territorial advances into the neighboring island of Shikoku and the main island of Honshu. My plan is to develop a fearsome navy and rule the waters around my islands. With naval dominance, I can start stomping up Honshu island, raiding and pillaging as I go, conquering all the land south of the Imperial Court province.

I should mention that the book “Shogun” by James Clavell is one of my favorite novels of all time. Sure it’s not a ‘classic’, but it sure is a great story of 1700’s Japan and how their ancient samurai traditions clash with the arrival of the British protagonist. It’s a lot like, “The Last Samurai” only good.

Anyhoo, that’s why I’m digging this game so far. Also, the graphics are way better – and there’s probably lots of graphics mods I can install and stuff. I’ll stick with my Swapper Let’s Plays until I finish that game and get more familiarized with the interface of Shogun 2, but then I can see myself devoting 30+ hours to an uncompromisingly epic game of Shogun 2. Should be awesome!

Welp, what else? My brother got engaged last night, so congrats to him. With an upcoming wedding, that can only mean one thing, there’s going to be a bachelor party in my future! Drunken strippernanigans are coming my way. Woot!

In NHL Playoff news, St. Louis is up 2-0 in their series against Chicago. It was a crazy game last night. Chicago was down 2-1 going into the 3rd, then scored 2 quick goals 5 minutes into the 3rd. St. Louis was down a goal, they had pulled their goalie and there was less than 10 seconds left in the game when Tarasenko scored a magic shot from the point. Then they go and win it in overtime! Unreal.

I can’t find a .gif… so you’ll just have to content yourself with the myriad of highlight shows that exist all over the internet. That’s an even 15, happy Stonedsurrection day!

EDIT: Found the .gif! Munch down on some cheetos and enjoy!

tarasenko

 

 

April 20, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sick Flow – Beauty Ramble

Man… I really, REALLY want to get my open broadcaster software working with Rome:Total War. I’m so in love with that game at the moment… Ungh. 

But I am doing my “The Swapper” Let’s Plays, which, as it’s a puzzle platformer, mostly consist of me going, “uhhh… what do I do now?” Although I am enjoying it at the moment, it’s an atmospheric little game. I’m some sort of Space Engineer – y’know, I think i talked about this yesterday. I’ll wait until I more than 20 minutes into the game before I tell ya what it’s about. ‘Cause honestly, I don’t really know what it’s about.

So, I think I will download Shogun 2 and try that as a Let’s Play. (I’ve got all the Total War games on Steam. $30 during the last Steam sale – or something like that.) I have played it before, but got bored or distracted or something. But now that I’ve really delved into Rome: TW, I figure I’ll be more patient with Shogun 2. Plus, I’ll get to do some offensive Japanese accents, so that’ll be a plus.

The thing about Rome: TW is that it takes, I ‘unno, like 30 hours to finish the game?! Just checking my Steam stats: I’ve played 54 hours of the game, but have yet to finish a complete campaign. Epic I say!

Anyhoo, that’ll be my video game plans for the evening. I’ll do an hour of cardio while watching the hockey game after I’m finished here. My routine for cardio is pretty simple: 

  1. Get on the treadmill.
  2. Put on the song “Dopesmoker” by Sleep
  3. Walk on the treadmill until the song ends.

Bingo bango! Easy peasy cardio. The song is over an hour long (1:03), so it works perfectly. And I get to watch hockey while I walk. Best of both worlds.

And how are things in the hockey world? Well, the Habs are enjoying a 2-0 series lead over Tampa Bay. Detroit won their 1st playoff game last night against Boston. Actually, the Detroit game last night was hella exciting. It was a 0-0 game until less than 5 minutes to go in the 3rd period, when Pavel Datsyuk (sp?) scored a beauty-sweet move again Boston. Do we have a .gif? Can we roll the .gif?

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Cool. Man, that is some beauty hands right there. How I wish the Sens were in the playoffs.

Who else? The Rangers are up on Philthydelphia 1-0 in the series, same for Pittsburgh over Columbus. Chicago is down 1-0 in the series to St. Louis, and they’re playing their 2nd game as I type this. It’s 2-0 for St. Louis. Wow, if they manage to knock off the defending champs… look for them to make some noise.

I guess, because I live on the East coast and cheer for Ottawa, I really don’t care much about the Western teams. The only team I don’t want to see win are the Ducks, as they beat Ottawa in 2007 in the Stanley Cup finals. Hockey grudges are for life! If I were cheering for anyone it might be the Avalanche. The Avs currently feature Andre Benoit as a d-man, and he played for Ottawa last season. But most of the West Coast games come on after 9:00pm Eastern time, so I’ll catch the highlights in the morning and that’s it. Whatever Western team makes it to the final, best of luck budday.

So, lazy Saturday today. Tomorrow is Easter but it’s also 4/20. I suppose I will have to observe the holiday tonight, since tomorrow I have Easter dinner obligations with the fam, and Monday I’ll be waking up early to go to the gym. Plus, Monday’s a holiday, which means rents will be hanging around, which means I can’t sit around all day and smoke, which is what one does on a stoner holiday. Regardless, I will do my best tonight to get high, watch cartoons and eat junk food. But then again, that’s my normal Saturday night.

April 19, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rome: Total War ramble – outlining my Scipii plans for world domination!

Oh man, is Rome: Total War ever an awesome game! According to Steam, I’ve played over 50 hours, but I still haven’t managed to finish a full campaign. This game is a monster! Here, take a look at the map.

Image

This map is huuuuge! The game is your basic sort of “take over the world” type game. You start as one of three Roman (i.e. Italian) factions; the Julii, the Scipii and the Brutii. (Corresponding to one of the blue, red and green factions in Italy.) You then have to go about conquering the world, and when you’ve got enough military might, you’ve got to attack your Roman allies and then take over Rome itself. 

Man, this game takes forever. I’m currently playing a Scipii campaign (the ones in Blue), and I’ve managed to take over Northern Africa and I’m moving in on the Iberian peninsula. (I would take a screenshot, but for some fershlugginer reason, the game wont let me. It also wont record properly on my open broadcaster software, or I’d be doing a slow, methodical Let’s Play of the game.)

Anyhoo, if you look at the map above, I plan on taking over the Iberian peninsula, which will leave me in a good defensive position, as there’s 3 points of land entry into the Iberian peninsula. My Julii counterparts are currently at war with Gaul, so I can count on them to take Narbo Martius and Lemonum, leaving me with a buffer zone from Northern attackers. I might have to build some ships to defend against Brittania, but that’s my biggest worry in that region.

I then plan to look to capture the rest of Africa. I’ve got Tripolitania and Cyrenaica under my control, but provinces to the South and East of these regions are open for the plundering. Egypt is strong in this region, so I will have to go to war with them. But I have built my empire on the back of my Navy, so if I can keep the Egyptians land locked, I think I’ll be able to take everything in the Middle East.

I also have to temper my thirst for conquest with the aims of my Roman allies. If they are strong in a region, I might be wary of taking over nearby regions, as I will likely leave behind a skeleton crew to defend those cities, which would see my allies taking over these provinces once I inevitably turn my sights on Rome. 

So yeah! Rome: Total War – such a great game. Not only does it take lots of military planning from an overhead view, but the battles are all done as an RTS type game. So you’ve got the military maneuvers, and then you’ve got the ability to fight each battle on the battlefield. (You can let the computer take care of it if you like, which I generally do when I’ve got an overwhelming force at my disposal.) Guh, this game is so epic! Epic I say!

But alas, I’m unable to get my open broadcaster software to work with this game, so I can’t do a glorious Let’s Play like I want to. My next Let’s Play series is going to be about this game called The Swapper. It’s cool so far – it’s a puzzle-platformer, where you play a “Space Engineer” (or something) and you’ve got a clone gun, and you go around solving puzzles, and unraveling the backstory about why the mining company is all empty. It’s pretty spooky and well done so far… but it’s just to tide me over until I can get OBS working with Rome: Total War. I suspect I will have to download Shogun 2 or similar and try a Let’s Play with that. 

Oh well… World Domination awaits! 

April 18, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Wubba Lubbs Lub Dubs ramble!

NHL Playoffs! Wubba lubba lub dubs!!

Even though the Sens aren’t in the playoffs, I’m still pretty stoked. I watched the MTL/Tampa Bay game last night. Whooo doggies, that’s some excitement! There were a bunch of lead changes, and back and forth action, nothing but razzle dazzle! Now I’m surfing tsn.ca/nhl for all the NHL filler I can read. Mmmm…. The immersion of hockey.

I never would’ve liked hockey if it weren’t for video games. I think one of the first games I got for Xbox (way back in 2005 or so) was hockey, and then I’d play that after work while I smoked a doober. This was back in my first apartment, out on my own for the first time. So the experience was transcendent. 

But then as I got more and more into video games, I got more and more frustrated with the NHL games. The physics models were no good, and the graphics weren’t the best compared to PC games and playing against the computer was too easy. However, I did start to watch Ottawa Senators games on tv in the meantime. 

Plus, back then, I was working at a 9-5 hellhole every day. I could basically surf the net the whole day, so having the Ottawa Senators to read about made things more interesting. 

And this is how my passion for hockey grew. I think it was the 2005-2006 season, I would pass time at work by reading about the Sens. But then I’d be all excited, ’cause we were a winning team, and so I’d go home and be able to watch the game! Wow! And I can have cereal for dinner!? This is the best time ever!

So over the years, until 2008, I worked a regular job, and would pass the time by reading about the Sens. Then when I went back to school, by that time, I was a megafan. So I’d made my transition during that time from ‘casual sports fan’ to ‘sports nut’. (That was also right around the time I started watching NFL games regularly. Of course, my love of NFL grew due to my participation in a fantasy football league, but that’s another story for another day. Also, that’s the whole story.)

Anyhoo, I’m downloading Orphan Black now as my next ‘new’ show to watch. Everyone on the internet is raving about it, and it’s Sci-Fi, so it might prove a suitable replacement for Firefly. (Weep for Wash.) 

I’ve seen 10 minutes or so of the first episode before I get bored and turn it off. But from what I understand, the show is about a girl who’s been cloned, and she meets up with her other clones and goes on a rampage or something. 

Absolutely every review I’ve seen raves about the lead actress. Since she’s the clone, she plays 3 or 4 (or more, I ‘unno) different parts on the show. So I’m guessing each character is unique with their own little subtleties and nuance, because why else would the critics be raving? 

So yeah, Orphan Black. I’ll do my best to get through the first show. Then we’ll see if I’m hooked or not. Some shows which I love now started out pretty rough (I’m looking at you, American Dad) but made it through that 1st season and rocketed to the top. I’ll make a commitment to watch that first episode no matter what…

Guffaw. I’m making it seem like sitting and watching something for an hour is such a chore. Champagne problems, right?

Anyhoo… so yeah, the only other show I’m watching is Game of Thrones. Shit is gonna get cray-cray now that Joffrey is dead. And I think Simpsons/Family Guy are almost done for the year. American Dad is done for the year, and is moving to TBS, so who the hell knows when it’ll be back on. Archer is meh this season, so no rush to watch anything there. Yup, mostly just NHL Playoffs and counting the days until Game of Thrones is back on.

15 minutes! Wubba lubba lub dubs!!

April 17, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Joffrey Cleavage: Not a great name for a band

So before I go to write a blog post I usually check my stats. One thing that pops up is the search terms people use to find this blog. And today’s most popular search term was, “joffrey cleavage.”  I mean… I don’t even… How are people searching for that? That doesn’t even go together? Joffrey’s a dude, there’s no cleavage there! But somehow, ’cause of my Game of Thrones post and pic of Cersei’s cleavage, it appears one weary internet traveller stumbled onto my site. I’m sure he was disappointed though, ’cause there’s no porn on my blog and clearly he was searching for some weird, nasty sort of Game of Thrones porn. (Gay porn? Is male cleavage a thing for gay guys?)

Anyhoo… I’m currently sitting here, stewing in my post-gym sweaty funkness ’cause there’s people at my house installing a tub and the water’s off. I would really like to shower and poop and shave… but I can’t. So I’ll vent on my blog about how gross I am and how I have to be mildly inconvenienced and wait for the water to come back on. It’s not like they’re installing a tub in my bathroom, so what do I care? *sigh*… I’ll just keep waiting.

What else? Ooh – the NHL Playoffs start tonight. There’s 3 games on tap: Montreal @ Tampa Bay, Columbus @ Pittsburgh and Dallas @ Anaheim. Man, I’m bummed that the Sens aren’t in the playoffs, but I’m pretty stoked about the playoffs in general! I think the Bruins are the team to beat in the East. I forsee a Bruins-Penguins Eastern Conference final. For the West, I like Chicago and St. Louis – but the West has so many good teams. I think whichever team in the West makes it to the Stanley Cup Final will win it all. 

Ugh… I can’t get over just how gross I am. My hands are all dirty from doing push-ups on the gym floor. My face is all caked with sweat and gunk…Bleah.

Hmmm… what else? Welp, I’m going to definitely need to choose a new game for my next Let’s Play series. I really, really want to do a Rome: Total War Let’s Play, but I can’t get my capture software to work properly. I’m using Open Broadcaster Software, which has been the tits for all the other games I’ve played so far – but for some reason, it’s just not working for R:TW. Too bad, ’cause I love that game (even though I’ve never managed to finish a full campaign.) 

Uh… what else? Man, I’m stumbling through this blog post today, boy. Lemme tell ya….

Well, Rick and Morty finished off it’s 1st season. It’s a really good show. For those who’ve never seen it, here’s the plot: a genius named Rick lives with his daughter’s family, and takes his grandson Morty on interstellar and inter-dimensional adventures. And there’s B-stories about the family and how they cope with Rick’s madness thrown in. Also, it’s a cartoon. So I love it. But it wont be on for another year. Bummerama.

And there’s 15 minutes!

April 16, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment