Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

Brave New Phone

I have a smart phone.

I just got it yesterday. It’s the coolest thing ever.

Before I had one, I was all anti-phone, and thought less of those people who walked around all the time with their head buried in their phone. But now I have one, and I totally see why everyone’s on their goddamn smart phone the whole time.

I used to have an old Samsung slidey-contains-an-actual-keypad type phone, and mostly used it for texting. It could accept image files, but not if they were too big – and the resolution was 256 colour. It was more modern than not having a cell-phone, but was still pretty old.

Originally, the only reason I got the cell phone was because

a) I needed a way for people to contact me

b) It cost me $0 when I signed up for a 2 year hitch.

So yeah, I’ll take a phone for free thanks – 2 year hitch? No problemo. Gimme the cheapest thing you got and now I’ve got a phone number.

But my old phone had grown old – how can I keep up with today’s selfie lifestyle with my shitty phone? Especially when girls are sending me pics of their boobs.

Now I’ve got a smart phone – so I’m all hypnotized with how cool it is. I’ve already downloaded Twitter, Instagram, Tinder, the IMDB app and the tsn app. I all jazzed – when there’s a show that has an app I can now get that app!

But the worrisome thing is, of course, how quickly I became addicted, and how Brave New World-esque each phone is. It sure is easy to distract yourself from everything with a world of entertainment at your fingertips. Why, a government could commite genocide and I wouldn’t care because my phone’s so cool! Oh lookit that thing on Instagram it’s so cool! And snapchat my facebook, that shit is in HD!!!

Anyhoo, still haven’t watched that Gotham episode. I got my smart phone yesterday and have done little else since getting it. But now we’re back on the writing train and so I need to do stuff in order to get ideas for stuff to write about. I can’t just keep writing about dreams I have where I’m called into work.

Actually, I had a sex dream last night – probably cause I was lookin’ at porn on my smart phone before going to bed. Ah, the feelies.

My Dad gets back from Saudi Arabia tonight, which I think is good. As I’m reading a book right now called “The Looming Tower” about the rise of Al-Qaeda and Islamic extremism. I tell ya, the more I read that book, the more in favour I am of profiling. I ‘unno – controversial ideas like that I need to discuss with my buddy who’s a whiz-kid at policy and politics.

But that’ll have to wait for another day – as my 15 minutes are up and now I can get back to my awesome-o smart phone!


January 22, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , ,

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