Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

Ways to judge interest levels of Tinder matches

So I guess this is a dating blog now? I ‘spose. One thing that helps me work through some things is writing it down. I’m not great at talking about my feelings to other people (and telling your feelings to women is a great way to get put in the friend zone), so I guess I’ll blab about them here.

I’ve got a date tonight – and from what I can tell, she seems pretty interested. One thing that I’m learning about tinder is it’s easy to tell the difference between a girl that’s just going through the motions, and a girl that’s interested in meeting me. For one thing, girls who are interested in meeting will display a certain level of enthusiasm.

For instance – when it comes to Tinder, my modus operandi is to chat with whoever I match with, then ask them out for a drink. At that point, I’ll give them my number and tell them to text me. A couple of times, the girl won’t bother texting, and will continue talking to me through Tinder. This is a sure sign of disinterest. When it comes to relationships, people will generally revert to biological norms – and that means that the man leads. So if I tell a girl to text me, and she doesn’t – that tells me right away that she hasn’t accepted my lead. Thus, the interest level is low.

Conversely, if I tell a girl to text and she does within the next 5 minutes, then that’s a sign of high interest. It shows me that she’s accepted my lead, and she’s willing to follow. In certain cases, the girl will give me her number first – that also displays a high level of interest. Take the girl I’m seeing tonight – she gave me her number right away, and has occasionally texted me during the morning. The more a girl is willing to get in contact with me, the higher her interest level is.

Of course, there’s always other signs of interest. For example, the girl I’m seeing tomorrow – when we were talking over Tinder, she gave long, thoughtful answers to my questions. Moreover, when I asked her out for a drink, she texted me back her number right away. Plus, she displayed a great deal of enthusiasm when I asked her out. For those who are new to dating (or are not masters of social interaction, like me) these are all good signs.

Yessir, although my brain is still having “flashbacks” of all the mistakes I made with this previous girl, I’ve gained a lot more perspective in the past few days. I tell ya, my confidence is back to where it should be – and I can learn from my mistakes and try not to make them again.

The other thing that Tinder has taught me is that there are girls everywhere. It’s silly to put all my eggs in one basket, because there’s always another opportunity on its way. It’s this abundance mentality that is helping me get over this last girl I dated, and I’m looking towards the future with enthusiasm. Of course, it could happen that tonight’s date secretly murders kittens in her spare time – which is why I’m going to focus on taking things slow, and trying my best to really get to know the character of a person before I started investing emotionally in her.

Due to my medical situation – I have abnormally high cortisol levels – which means I feel my feelings much more intensely than normal people. I’m really hoping that I don’t let myself get carried away – I think if I keep in mind the mistakes of the past, I can meet people and evaluate their character without putting too much stock in any one woman.

Even if all 3 dates this weekend turn out to be busts, I’m still talking with girls on Tinder, and I’m still keeping my options open. I wouldn’t say I’m completely over this chick I recently dated – but with new dates on the horizon, things are certainly looking better than they did a couple days ago. Not to mention, from the self-help books I’ve read, every day I’m doing positive, self-esteem exercises, and learning to develop inner character. These kinds of exercises will help develop my self-confidence, and by focusing on meeting my needs, I’ll make sure to avoid the mistakes of the past.

I realize that much of these dating blog entries are re-hashing a lot of what I wrote in previous days. But these issues don’t disappear overnight. So by repeating these lessons to myself, eventually, I’m sure the lessons will stick.

Have an awesome weekend! Get out there and have a drink with someone!


March 6, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. I really love the honesty in your posts. I can pretty much agree with what you’ve said about figuring out whether or not a girl is interested in you. However, there are some girls that might just be really scared about texting first or offering to give you their number. I know I was that way for a long time because, otherwise, I felt like I was stepping on the guys toes. Might just be something to keep in mind. 🙂

    Comment by YounginAmerica11 | March 6, 2015 | Reply

    • Thanks for the input! I’ll keep it in mind. I appreciate the compliment too. Thanks for reading!

      Comment by sarcasticus | March 6, 2015 | Reply

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