Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A summary of this weekend’s dates.

A summary of this weekends dates:

Friday: Met up with this girl for a drink. Turns out, she’s 6’2. I’m only 6’0, so that’ll never work. But whatevs, I can practice my dating skills. We have our drink, have a good time – I drive her home and get a kiss goodnight. (Tongue kiss, too – so I know she’s into me.) But later on, I find out she’s into the BDSM lifestyle. So that’s a big negatory. Too bad, ’cause she’s a redhead and devastatingly pretty.

Saturday: Met up with this girl for a drink. She’s got short hair – not a good sign. I had a surprisingly good time – until the very end, when she starts going on and on about feminist equality nonsense. Bleah. I’m no longer interested. I don’t go in for the kiss at the end of the date – definitely a no go.

Sunday (Today): Met up with this girl for a drink. She’s pretty, a bit boring with her non-stop yammering about her animals. But she likes to exercise, and she reads a lot. Not as much laughter as the other two dates, but I’d consider seeing her again. As we’re walking out to our cars, I say to her. “This was fun. We should do this again sometime.” And she says, “Ummm… I’ll have to think about it.” So, pssh – I guess that’s a no go. (Really, I’m surprised. You’re turning down another date with me? Ok.) Once she says that, I immediately say, “Take care.” And walk off, never to see her again.

All in all, a bit of a bummer of a weekend for dates. I really think I was spoiled in that the first girl I went out with was of such a great character. But still, I had to make my mistakes with her so that I could see what I was doing wrong, and how I can move forward. I think I’m only missing her now because this weekend’s dates were so poor.

Anyhoo, I can boil it down to a numbers game. If we assume that 5-10% of all women are high-quality, highly compatible women, then it’ll take on average about 20 dates before I meet someone special. So, 3 down, 17 to go.

There’s generally two things I’ll do to gauge the interest of my dates. The first, is that I’ll say, “We should do this again sometime.” Clearly, if they agree, then they’re interested to a degree and they want to see me again. The next thing I’ll do, is I will try to kiss them at the end of the date. (If I’m interested, of course – and if they’ve answered affirmatively to my question.) If I go in for the kiss, and they give me the cheek, then I assume they’re just being polite. On the other hand, if they kiss me back (on the lips, to be clear), then they’re obviously interested and it’s full steam ahead.

This girl I previously dated both answered yes to my question and gave me a kiss on the lips. The girl I dated on Friday – same thing, plus tongue kiss. The other two, not so much. Oh well, the more women I go out with, the sooner I will meet someone I will have a tremendous connection with.

But really – as I just got home from Sunday’s date – I’m still smarting a bit from being rejected by this girl. I think I’m still being too eager in my dates – I’m trying to rush too much the connection I’m trying to make. Also, because Friday and Saturday’s dates were so disappointing, I think also I pinned too many of my hopes on this Sunday girl.

Well, that’s why I’m dating. To learn about myself and what my needs are and how I can get them met. Even though none of these dates panned out, I’m still imbued with the knowledge that I can get 3 more dates set up by the end of next week. Looking at it numbers-wise – if we assume that I can get 2-3 dates a week, then in 9-10 weeks it’s almost a certainty I will have met someone who’s both pretty, and of a high character.

However, I can’t worry about what I can’t control. What I will try and focus on now is making myself more attractive to the opposite sex. That means keep hitting the gym, keep progressing in my PhD, keep going with my hobbies – maybe even try some new activities, where I might meet someone. Who knows.

But it’s a bummer – no one likes to be rejected. Even if I could tell we didn’t have a connection, I’m still surprised she wouldn’t go out with me again. Oh well, just gotta go back to the drawing board, work on myself, and see what happens next weekend.


March 8, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Love the insight into your dating life! Great post, keep up the dating!!

    Comment by Life in Arcadia | March 9, 2015 | Reply

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