Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A ramble about other goals for a change.

Well, I’m a bit sleepy today, so this might be even more of a disjointed ramble than usual.

Anyhoo – how am I doing? I mean, I’m ok. I’m trying to focus on finding the answers within. But it’s tough. I have an emotional need I’ve ignored for so long, it does feel a little like I’m desperately trying to fill it. Instead, I will try and focus on me and what I have to do to get where I need to be.

So, where do I want to go? What other goals do I want to accomplish?

For starters, I want to be in peak physical condition. So far this year I’ve been really good about my workouts. Right now I’m trying to focus on working on Monday through Friday. So far so good. I do my lifts MWF and cardio T/Th. Cardio days are pretty boring – especially since I have knee issues, so I can’t do HIIT on the treadmill at home. Instead, I just do steady state stuff to shed some calories, and then work core for 10-15 minutes. The problem with trying to attain peak fitness is that I could always be doing something more. I’m thinking of switching up my lifting routine to burn more calories. Currently, on lifting days, I do 10 sets of lifts. Instead, I think I’m going to switch to lifting Monday – Friday, doing less lifts, and more cardio at the end. Meh, we’ll see. My diet is currently staying under a 2000 calorie ceiling. It’s done me well so far this year, but I think that if I want to get abs, I’ll need to fine tune my diet a little more.

The main thing, for physical fitness, is to be consistent. If I stick to a 2000 calorie ceiling, and workout everyday, then over time I will lose weight, get stronger and feel great. Again, I need to develop patience and live in the moment. Focus on getting in a good workout and a good diet day, everyday. Then in 3-6 months, take a look at where I am.

That’s one major goal. The other major goal I’m working on is getting my PhD thesis written. I’m currently doing my PhD in math, and all I have left to do is write my thesis. Recently, I proved a problem I needed for my thesis, so all I have left to do in terms of research is prove another little thing. But if I don’t prove that, I’ll still have quite a lot of material for my thesis. I’ve haphazardly written up some stuff, and my goal is to get it all written up in rough by May 1st. Then by June 1st, I should have the thing written in good, and I can defend my thesis by the end of the summer. Then I’ll insist that everyone call me doctor!

What else? Well, there’s the dating goal – which is to meet someone special with whom I can make a deep, long-lasting, emotional and physical connection. However, paradoxically, I can’t attain this goal by focusing on this goal. As I (sorta) discussed yesterday, to get the kind of girl I want, I need to be the type of man to attract such a girl. That means being an emotional rock, being a leader, and being the best man I can be. I’d say I’m well on my way. I’m ambitious, I’m goal oriented, I know my issues and I’m working through them. So if I’m to achieve my dating goal, I need to really focus on myself. Sure, I’ll go on dates and practice being non-needy and fun to be around. But the important thing to achieve this goal is to keep improving myself. Luckily, I’m committed to self-improvement and goals, so the only thing needed to attain this goal is time. Again, always – I need to develop patience.

What else? I have some fortune goals – but they will follow once I’m done my PhD and can focus on my career.

I have some fame goals – and I’m steadily working at them. I’m practicing my piano everyday – in a couple years, I’ll be really good. Like, ready to join a band (or be a singer/songwriter-type) good. I write everyday – I would eventually like to write a novel. Once I’m done with the PhD, I anticipate a lot more free time on my hands. In addition, I would like to try my hand at stand-up comedy. Currently, one of my fears is that I’ll get on stage, see my slutty ex, and have a meltdown and puke on stage. Ultimately, I will have to confront these fears. And that means writing down some funny thoughts, and getting up there on amateur night for 5 minutes and giving it a shot. I was a pretty damn good MC for my buddy and brother’s wedding, so I’m confident I can make others laugh. But that nagging fear remains.

Ultimately, if I’m to grow as a person, I will have to confront my fear. I know I will, and I will be a stronger person when I do. But in the meantime, I’ve got this rather massive thesis to write. Call me doctor… soon!


March 12, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , ,

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