Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A ramble brought on by lack of release

I think implementing a new exercise plan, maybe I should’ve allowed for a rest day today. I’ve done two strenuous workouts in a row, and I’ve got another one coming up today. I’m feeling sorta tired for some reason – maybe the wake and bake didn’t help. (But how often do I get to W&B?) Anyhoo, the thing about the gym is, once I get started, then I’ll start enjoying it. But the big thing is getting there and starting. My whole body is like, “Nooooo! No workout, senor!” (My body is Spanish, apparently.) But I’ll get on that treadmill for my warmup and it’ll be all systems go. Plus, best part about working out in the afternoon is that it basically signals the end of my day. I can relax once I’m done my workout. (Well, I do have class tonight, but they’re writing a test, so it’ll be a good hour of internet surfing for me!)

However, we shall see. I am feeling somewhat tired, so I might have a little nap once I break away to do my reading right after this. I do my reading on my bed, and I think it might happen that’ll just fall right asleep. I suppose I should either do my reading at my desk, or just go straight to working out and do my reading later. But that’s what I’ve done for the past two days – do my workout before my reading – and as such, I’ve been too tired (or lazy) to read at night. (But not tired enough to fall right asleep, go figure. Lousy brain.)

Anyhoo – what else? Not much in the dating world to report. I’ve got a date Saturday afternoon – feeling pretty good about internalizing the idea that dating is a process, and I don’t need to be concerned about achieving my goal as soon as possible. This morning, I did some good work on my thesis – and I wasn’t distracted by dating concerns or suffering from a lack of focus. It’s been awhile since I’ve done good work like that, so I’m happy with my progress with my issues so far.

In the meantime though, as part of my self-discipline regimen, I’ve eliminated watching porn and masturbating regularly. As a result, I’m so easily distracted when I’m at school by any pretty girl walking by. I know that when I go to the gym in a bit, it’ll feel like I’ve been shot out of a cannon. Pretty crazy how much energy and vitality I can store up by not spanking it for a few days.

But the problem is that now it’s like I’m 13 again – I’ve got sex on the brain. When I’m focused in on work, then it’s pretty easy to work well and stay focused because I’ve got that energy driving me. But in my leisure time, or when I take a break – all I’m thinking about is sex. I’m sending out messages to some girls who may want to hook-up this weekend – we’ll see what happens. I’ve had many enjoyable one-night-stands in the past, and many regretful ones. So the key to a good hook-up, I think – is being honest about what’s going to happen, not promising anything to the other person, and making sure you get enough recent pictures so that you’re not surprised at who you’re meeting.

The other thing about not watching porn – is that I’ve started noticing how sexualized everything is. Ads on tv, pop-up ads, print ads – everything that’s successful at selling something will usually feature a hot, half-naked girl. Not that I’m complaining. But when there’s no release I can turn to, it’s a bit frustrating.

What else? I guess the biggest challenge I’m having right now is with my diet. It’s so easy to overeat – especially after my monster workouts. I added 20 mins of cardio at the end in order to burn more calories – but it’s a little fruitless if I’m just going to eat the results of my work. I think my big problem is that I’ve found that bread and butter is delicious, and goes with every meal. If I could cut out that one thing, I’d probably be doing a lot better.

Alas, goals are a lifelong process. And I’ll always keep trying, everyday, to be a little bit better than the day before.

Welp, that’s a cool 15. Time to do some goddamn deadlifts!

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March 18, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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