Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

Rough and tumble ramble about wistfulness and goals

A bit of a rough morning feelings-wise. I was feeling wistful all morning towards J2. (See Glossary.) I think it’s helpful to note that I went out last night with some friends for some Simpsons trivia, and as I result, I stayed up late and ended up wasting my sexual energy. (That’s a clever euphemism if I’ve ever heard one.) I think when my sexual energy was “charged” (i.e., it’s been a couple days) then I was looking more towards the future. For sex, I think I should reorient my goal so that I can focus my sexual energy. Right now I don’t really have enough of a plan for my love goals, other than “date a lot of women.”

I also didn’t have a great sleep, which is a problem for me. I’ve had sleeping problems for awhile, I think from when I was doing shift work most likely – might be some stuff in there with the kidney – and I always feel pretty terrible when I’m tired. I have yet to do a workout today, and I missed one yesterday, so I should get down there and do something.

The thing about being wistful, is that it keeps me thinking about the past. As well, I’ve still got anxiety about my love goals, so thinking about the past can trigger negative emotions, or negative thought patterns. What is better is to keep my eye on my goals. Don’t forget the mistakes, but learn from them, and move past them. Keep looking towards the future.

And so that’s what I’ll do. Because thinking about the past tends to bum me out. But thinking about the future is more productive. It instills me with a sense of hope, which leads to optimism. So that’ll be my focus, and my strategy for dealing with negative thoughts. Whenever I start feeling wistful about J2, I can say to myself, “I accept the mistakes I’ve made and I will learn from them. But right now, I will think about my primary goals.”

What are my goals?

I divide my goals up into 5 pillars: Health, Love, Math, Fortune and Fame.

For each of these pillars, I create a primary goal for them. Then for each primary goal, I create a sequence of mini-goals, such that this sequence of mini-goals will lead me to my primary goal. Finally, I create a plan to achieve my mini-goal and start following that plan.

This seems like I good time to do this on my blog. I think I’m going to change my blog around, so that it’s all about goals and stuff. So that in the next few posts, I’ll be writing out my goals, then mini-goals, and creating a plan. I think that’s probably a good idea to do it here – probably with plenty of euphemisms for the Love goals, because it’s a bit embarrassing to talk about my sex life.

Anyhoo – ramble about stuff today. I should say that cannabis helps a lot with my anxiety, I always feel a lot more grounded and have less wistful feelings afterwards. I think I recall that cannabis is an anti-anxiolotic, but I also read that it raises your cortisol levels, so I ‘unno what’s going on. Alls I know is that it’s Friday. You ain’t go no job. And you ain’t go shit to do!

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March 20, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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