Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A rambly ramble about goals and sexual energy

Well, first weekend in awhile without any dates. I had an unsatisfying hook-up, so the less said about that the better. That’s more on me – I need to learn to channel my sexual energy into fruitful pursuits, rather than wasting it.

I was re-reading the chapter on transmuting sexual energy in Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” today, and Hill basically reaffirmed the idea that the sex desire is man’s most potent source of energy. And this source of energy can be used to achieve greatness, as long as one learns to channel this energy in a positive way. Too often, one channels this energy into a physical release – which, when Love is not involved, basically leads to a waste of energy. That’s what I’m finding with these hook-ups – they’re emotionally unsatisfying (and often enough physically unsatisfying too.)  I think, as well, I need to develop patience when it comes to sexual matters.

But there is this need for an emotional connection that I’ve ignored for so long, and so as I’m looking to fill it, and not having enough patience, I’m doing sort of needy things in order to fulfill my needs. Again, I must develop patience.

This upcoming week, I’ll look to focus my energies on exercise, diet and math. I’ve still got a niggling little problem to figure out for my thesis. And I’m real close to doing so. My hope is that, in practicing to transmute my sexual energy, I’ll solve this problem and then I can get to work on finishing my thesis. Looking ahead, if I can solve this problem by the end of (s)March, then I’ll have my thesis done in rough by May 1st no problem. That’s great news, as it’s one of my goals that I want to achieve.

Oh right, last few posts have been about goals, mini-goals, etc… Well, since it takes quite a lot of time to develop mini-goals and planning and such, I think I’ll do that on my own and then just post the results here on my blog. Well, maybe not – we’ll see. This blog is a dedicated time during the day when I’ll write about whatever’s on my mind – which is usually goal related. So maybe I’ll develop my mini-goals and plans here. In fact, that’s probably what I’ll do. Each day this week, I’ll write down my mini-goals and plans for each pillar. Boom. There ya go.

Because today I’m sorta tired and lazy. I did a great workout yesterday, and then sex at night, that’d tire anyone out. Luckily it’s Sunday, a day to take it easy. No workout today, that’s for sure.

But I don’t like days off. If I’m wasting time, then I’m not working on my goals, and hence, I can’t really enjoy the moment. Maybe instead of taking the rest of the day off, I’ll do a bit of marking. That’s something I need to do, and I can watch TV and/or a movie while I do it, so I won’t mind how long and tedious it is. Boom. That’s what I’ll do.

But man, early to bed tonight. I was reading online about the difference sleep makes to an elite athlete. And it turns out that athletes should get between 8-10 hours of sleep a night. Man – sleep is hella important, and I haven’t been sleeping very well lately. I tend to wake up about an hour before my alarm, and then I’ll hit snooze a couple times before getting up. Bleah. Tonight, my plan is to turn off my computer at 8:00, get cleaned up, and get into bed to read. I’ve also not been keeping up with my books recently, so tonight’s a good night to turn that around.

I guess the other thing that’s still bugging me, is that every now and again, throughout the day, I’ll remember something about J2, and it’ll trigger a tinge of sadness. But I’ve got to remember, if I can’t be happy on my own, and seek validation through myself, then it doesn’t matter if I’ve got a girlfriend or I don’t. I can’t be relying on anyone else for happiness and validation.

There’s also the idea that our brains go over past relationships in order to ‘fix’ them, even though there’s nothing to be done. Whenever that happens, I’ve got to focus on what kind of man I want to be – for if I’m going to meet my dream girl, then I’d damn well make sure that I’m her dream guy. The only way to do that is focus on what I can control – me and my actions – and spend all day engaged in high value activities, and spend my time constructively, working towards my goals.

Welp – that’s a rambly 15! Hope you had a great weekend!

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March 22, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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