Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A grey, dreary goals ramble

Bleah. I was sick yesterday, and still sorta am today. And it’s a grey, rainy day out, and I’m just feeling bleah.

However, the good news is that I’ll soon be better, and I can get back to working on my goals. Lately, I’ve found that I’ve been uninspired. I think this is because I’m so very close to achieving my PhD goal. I’ve read that it’s often very hard to complete a task 100%, and people usually stop at 90% or 95% done. I think that’s what I’m feeling. My thesis will take another month (or more) to write, and I’m not really super-stoked about that. So what I plan to do, today, is what I’ve been threatening to do for awhile now, and that’s write out my goals, complete with mini-goals along the way. Of course, I will do this off-site – and you’ll probably hear about it tomorrow. But for now, totally bleah.

I think I probably just need one more good sleep to get back to normal. I don’t feel nauseated or have a sore throat, just no energy, and my muscles are weirdly sore. I ‘unno. Maybe get to bed early tonight and see how that works for me.

But in the meantime we’ve got to get this blog post written.

I ‘unno what to write about. Not much going on. I was sick all yesterday – didn’t do anything on Saturday aside from play Factorio. (Aside: Oh man, Factorio is soooo addictive. It’s all about creating supply chains to automate stuff – sounds dull, and probably would be were I a normal person. But I’m a mathematician, so my weirdness quotient is allowed to be super high.) Anyhoo, once I create goals for myself, taking a day off seems like such a waste. It’s hard to enjoy the things I once did, mostly ’cause I feel guilty for not working on my goals. I think setting up monthly mini-goals will help – for if I achieve all my daily goals, then I don’t need to feel guilty about enjoying my time off.

The ideal day, according to (I think) Ben Franklin, is 8 hours of work, 8 hours of play and 8 hours of sleep. What I think I’ll go back to is getting all my goals accomplished first thing – and then once all the items on my “ToDo” list are checked off, I’ll begin the serious task of playing video games, etc… I very much enjoy the idea of a rigid, daily schedule. That’s why I think I’d do so well in the army – they tell you exactly what you have to do, you just have to show up.

Meh – it’s no fun being sick – or without energy. I haven’t worked out since Wednesday. I took Thursday off because I was tired from waking up in the morning – and then I went out at night with J3, and that followed through to Friday, but then I went out Friday with collegues and so that carried through to Saturday, and then yesterday I was sick. It’s funny how skipping one workout can lead to terrible results. I’m looking forward to feeling better and getting back at it.

Oh well – one of the things I definitely need to work on is patience towards my goals. I want to be in peak physical condition TODAY! I want a deep emotional connection with someone, TONIGHT!! I want to have my PHD, TOMORROW!! I will gradually learn the lesson of patience. One thing I will start trying is 15 minutes of meditation in the mornings. Currently, I do 15 minutes of visualization with respect to my goals. I think I will add 15 minutes of meditation afterwards. I keep reading about the benefits of meditation – including a sense of well being, a sense of calm and acceptance. I think I need that in my life. With my artificial anxiety, I can use all the help I can get in establishing a sense of calm.

I would also like to establish a better sense of purpose. I keep wasting time surfing the net and/or playing with my phone when I should be working. I need to get better at head-down math and keeping my mind focused on work. I think meditation can probably help with this as well.

Anyhoo – that’s a cool 15. No dates lined up for this week – but it’s Easter weekend, so that might be tough to do. I’m seeing J3 next week, so that’s cool. She’s fun to be around, pretty and a great kisser. So there’ll certainly be a report about that in the coming future.

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March 30, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , ,

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