Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

The inevitable breakup with J3

Welp, looks like I’ve got to break up with J3. She’s going away to Toronto this weekend with some guy – and I don’t think that’s very appropriate.

First, when we last talked, she said she was a monogamous person. And even though we’re not exclusive, spending the weekend with some guy doesn’t strike me as particularly monogamous.

Second, we talked last night, and she mentioned she was going away for the weekend with a friend – but deliberately omitted mentioning that it’s a guy. Which tells me that she’s obviously planning to have sex with this guy on the weekend.

Third, her mother is sick with Leukemia. The fact that she’ll pass up a weekend at home to go to Toronto tells me where her values lie. And I can’t be with someone if we don’t share the same values.

Bottom line, these actions tell me she’s not really interested in an exclusive relationship. And ultimately, I don’t feel I can trust her anymore.

In fact, I told her on the weekend that I had trust issues stemming from a previous relationship. And I don’t think going out with someone else for a weekend getaway is a good way to engender trust between us.

If I don’t trust someone, I don’t want to be with them. And so I don’t want to see J3 anymore – not even as fuck buddies. As it happens, I’m pretty bad at separating feelings from sex – maybe I’d feel differently if I were seeing other women. But I’m not.

So that’s that then. She texted me asking if this was a “we need to talk” message, and I said yes. So she knows what’s coming later on. I learned my lesson from J2 though – I’ll make sure to break up with her over the phone rather than text. And so she’ll call me between 6:00 and 7:00 I expect, and I’ll break up with her, and that will be that.

Oh well – I’m feeling anxious at the moment, because breaking up isn’t fun. I don’t know if her feelings will be hurt, but still, no one likes to be rejected (which is what breaking up is, essentially), and no one likes to be the one doing the rejecting. So my stomach is all full of vomiting butterflies, but I’ll feel better once it’s done.

Truthfully, she was a bit heavy for my liking. I’d rather meet someone fit and feminine. Oh sure, we had some good times together, and she was easy to get along with. But going away for the weekend with some other guy tells me where I am on her priority list.

Ultimately, we make time for the people we care about. Really, I’m more appalled that she wouldn’t spend a couple days with her mother.

Anyhoo, I’ve been mulling over breaking up with her for a couple weeks now, and this weekend getaway just sealed the deal. Bummer.

Welp, time to get back on the ol’ Tinder train, going out for dates on Friday/Saturday/Sunday until I meet someone. It’s either that, or I go into “Monk mode” and just spend all my free time working on my thesis, so I can move out into a cool bachelor pad, and then go about learning how to approach women. We’ll see…

In any case, I’ve got a break up call coming later on today, which is no fun. However, my parents are going away this weekend – so it’s gonna be a great time to get stoned off my ass, play video games and watch Game of Thrones.

Yup – so, no GoT recap today, that’s for sure. I’m thinking tomorrow will be all about the breakup call with J3 and my feelings. I’m thinking I’ll be fine, but you never know.

Bleeeeahhhh!

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May 13, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , ,

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