Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A cannabis haze ramble about forcing myself to take advantage of the day

I was pretty slackadaisical [sic] last week with writing. So here we are trying to do a bit better.

I was pretty slackadaisical last week as well. Friday I had to get up early in order to go to the hospital for a kidney checkup. But then I didn’t nap during the day – so I was tired, and when I get tired I get lazy, and when I get lazy I get unproductive. So I basically took Friday off in order to watch tv, play video games and smoke weed. But then, Friday turned into Saturday and I was having so much fun doing nothing, that I kept on doing nothing.

So here I am today, trying to get out of the “do nothing” hole – and get back into the habit of work.

The problem is, doing nothing isn’t all that relaxing – because in the back of my mind I know I’ve got stuff I could be doing. I’ve got notes I could do for class, I’ve got a thesis I should be working on. So taking a day off fills me with guilt. (Not to mention I made chocolate chip cookies Friday night – from scratch, a-thank-you – and so yesterday I ate like, 20 cookies. Guh.)

I think, with goals, it’s easy to get frustrated with how much left there is to do. Usually I’ll do something like, have a good 2 or 3 days in a row, then have some small setback that will set me totally off course. Or I’ll get frustrated at how much longer it will be before I’m on my own, and I say “to hell with the diet” and overeat.

What I want to focus on now, is just writing all my goals down the night before, then during the day getting all my goals done as quickly and efficiently as possible. No matter how tired, how grumpy or how much I have left to do, I should focus on increasing my self-discipline by doing as many of my goals on the ToDo list as I can.

I need to remember that my feelings follow my actions – and if I take action, suck it up, and do the next thing on my ToDo list, once I’ve started, I’ll feel better about the whole thing.

Then I can relax at night, guilt-free, knowing that I spent my whole day working on my goals – and I can be more ok about the fact that my goals will take a long time. What gets me to my goals will be consistency – and as I focus on doing my goals everyday, pretty soon I’ll build up a consistent routine of getting these goals done. And little by little, I’ll start inching my way towards the finish line – until my consistent work catches up with me, and I inevitably reach my goal.

But most of all, I keep getting in the mindset of “I’ll start this for real, tomorrow.” Well, there is no tomorrow. The race has already begun, there’s no restarting – there’s only today, and what I can do today to get myself closer to my goals. If I have a setback, or I reach the end of the day without having done much, the best thing I can do for tomorrow is to write down my ToDo list, and go to bed early. But until then, don’t give up on today. Try and do as much as I can to achieve my goals, no matter what I’m feeling, or how much I don’t want to do it.

That’s what I’m focusing on today.

And finally, check off my tasks once I’ve done it on my ToDo list. That’ll give me a sense of accomplishment, seeing all those checks add up.

And also – do the worst thing first. This will probably mean exercise first thing in the morning, well then, so be it.


May 24, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

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