Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A ramble about the thesis

Well, I was pretty slackadaisical yesterday with my writing. Tell you the truth, after my workout I spent the rest of the day working on my thesis. I think that’s probably what’s gonna happen on MWF from now on. Get up – do my notes for class, exercise, then spend the rest of the day working on my thesis. Lemme tell ya – a thesis is a very time-consuming thing. Especially a math one – my thesis is about 140 pages at the moment, and I’m in the process of going through each page, cleaning up the language, making sure things make sense, adding in explanation wherever necessary, adding sources… Guh. It takes a long time. But it’s the one huge obstacle I have to overcome before I can get my PhD, get a good job, and move outta my  parents house, so that’ll be my main focus for the next little while.

My secondary focus is exercise. My diet has been on point for the past couple days, and I’m committed to staying below 2000 calories every day. One habit I picked up is having a fruit & vegetable smoothie at the end of the day. I make my smoothie with coconut water, and then a bunch of green vegetables and fruit. It tastes… y’know, vegetable-y. But it’s a great way to get  a lot of vitamins, plus it’s a good meal to have at the end of the day. I start my day with a protein shake with vegetable powder, and I end it with more fruits and vegetables. I’m sure that’s probably good for me. And I have two meals in between – oatmeal and peanut butter, and eggs and sausage. In between the eggs and sausage and my protein shake, I get close to 75g of protein a day – which is my limit as protein is hard on the kidney.

Anyhoo, there’s not much else going on. Tonight I’m teaching my class – and it’s going ok so far. But man, it sure seems like a lot of those kids are bored during class. I don’t get it! Math is exciting! Maybe I feel this way because I’m a mathematician.

What else? Well – I guess I never actually wrote down my 5 week goals like I said I was going to. I think I might make me some June goals – as I think I did well in April when I had 5 specific targets to shoot for. And June is right around the corner, so that seems like a logical progression. Ok, that’s the plan!

Umm… Yeah. Not too much else going on. My main focuses day to day are getting my exercise in, then spending the rest of the day working on math. And in the evenings, I hit the bong in order to make the tediousness of writing a thesis more tolerable.

I’m hoping that by the end of the summer, I’ll be done my thesis. It really takes a lot longer than I was expecting – plus I was dilly-dallying a bit at the beginning of May – getting adjusted to my new class and whatnot. But now it’s all math all the time. Gotta couple months of hard, tedious work and then I’ll get my friggin PhD. Like in goals, I have to resist the temptation to quit at 95% done – and instead worry about finishing strong. Plowing through this thesis, defending the sucker, and then living the easy life of a professor.

Well, we’ll see how long it takes me to become a prof. There’s always the option of going to work for the government. But, having worked in an office, I’d much rather take a low salary in exchange for loads of free time. The odds of me working a 9-5 office job are pretty goddamn slim at this point.

Anyhoo – that’s a tight 15. Maybe another ramble tomorrow – maybe the next one is on Tuesday. We’ll see!


May 28, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Diet ramble – recognizing my sticking points

Welp, I had a near perfect day yesterday. Did all my math, exercise, piano, writing, reading, etc…. I even worked straight up until 8:00pm like I wanted, without any distractions or nothing. However, the one setback I had was with my diet. GodDAMN is it hard to resist cravings. I’ll go fine until the evening, and then I’ll see a kitchen full of delicious goodies, and I’ll start with, “I’ll just have one rice krispie square.” And then BOOM – before you know it, I’m chowing down on all sorts of garbage and the diet day is ruined.

Welp, now that I’ve got that in mind, I will remain extra vigilant tonight. I’ll make sure that I eat something healthy when I get home from class, and then STOP EATING. It’s super-easy for me to overeat – I’m on prednisone which gives me an insatiable appetite. Thus, if I’m to develop self-discipline, I should start with my diet – and that means overcoming my biggest challenge and not snacking at night.

I’ll be honest, I’m pretty sick of working out everyday and having nothing to show for it. I’m just gonna have to suck it up, drink some more water, and go to bed hungry. If I can develop that habit, then pretty soon my body will reflect my decisions. I just have to endure the cravings.

One thing I could do is use social media. This is where my instagram and youtube subscriptions will come in handy. I think that, whenever I’m feeling like snacking, or my brain gets to a point where it says, “Fuck it – we can start the diet tomorrow!” That’s when I’ll start surfing instagram or checking out my youtube fitness subscriptions. It’s when I’m feeling these cravings that I need motivation. And so seeing all those lean, fit bodies will (hopefully) motivate me to stay on my diet, avoid pigging out on junk food, and staying the course.

That’s a big thing when it comes to goals – is determination. Never giving up. I should take that message to heart. Say, if I have a bad diet morning and go heavy on the calories – usually I take that as a sign that there’s no point in dieting for the rest of the day, and I’ll pig out. Instead, if I eat a little too much – I should not quit, and try and diet my best for the rest of the day.

I think I was in here yesterday complaining about the same things. Well, this time I mean it! Now that I’m aware of my snacking struggles in the evening, it will be a bit easier to deal with them – I know that right now, that’s my biggest sticking point for my diet, and so every night I’ll try and avoid snacking.

Yeah, I would say diet, exercise and thesis are my top 3 priorities at the moment. If I can exercise everyday, keep to a healthy diet the majority of the time, and do my thesis in the evening, then everything will work out fine.

That’s the other thing about goals – is that I have to have patience. Just one night of not eating everything in sight will not yield abs. I have to eat at a caloric deficit over a long, consistent period of time in order to get down to my target body fat percentage. Maybe it’ll be easier now that it’s the summer – and when it’s super hot out, I don’t really have an appetite. But nevertheless, I will work on developing patience, and never giving up.

Anyhoo – what else? Today’s a teaching day, so no smoking weed until after class. Lemme tell ya, when I get home I’m gonna have an epic sesh – got a brand new episode of American Dad to watch. I’m gonna clean out my bong, get some ice-cold water loaded up, and then enjoy a cool bowl of cannabis and relax for the rest of the evening. Ah, wonderful.

But in the meantime, I’ve got a couple hours to kill before class. Tuesday’s are the worst – I have to be on campus at 5:30 for my office hours. However, it’s super rare that anyone shows up for office hours, so I mainly use it to surf the internet. I ‘spose I could be doing something more productive – but meh, whaddya gonna do. It’s stressful enough talking for 90 minutes in front of kids who definitely don’t want to be there. I think teaching would be a lot better if I were teaching math to mathematicians, as they’d be at least interested in the material. These engineers, they all look up at me with bored, dead eyes and world-weary sighs.

Oh well – a job’s a job. And less than 10 hours of work a week isn’t bad at all.

May 26, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A ramble about last night’s date and my monthly goals

Last night’s date was pretty successful. We met up, went to a comedy club for amateur hour, then went back to her place. All in all, a good night. Tired today, but worth it.

I think my anxiety is better with J3 than with J2, because I’m not trying to lump J3 into the girlfriend category right away. I’m just focusing on playing it cool and enjoying the time I have when we’re together. In the meantime, I’m more focused on my own goals than what she’s up to, which is the way it should be. Plus, I’ve internalized the idea that I’m the prize to be won – so if for some reason, she up and decides she doesn’t want to see me any more, then it truly is her loss. But of course, judging by the way things ended last night, I doubt she’ll be doing that anytime soon.

However, I am super-tired again today. I got home late – then I had to get up when my alarm went off (gotta take my pills at 8:00am every morning). Luckily, I had a nap – but man, I think that’s going to be it for weeknight dates. Getting up early is such a big hassle for me that it throws my whole day off. There’s no mercy on the horizon, as I have to get up super-early tomorrow as well to run another errand. Guh. I’ve got a thing on Saturday, but after that, I plan on taking the whole week to myself. I would really like a solid week of getting up, working out, working on my thesis, doing my piano, writing and reading and then going to bed early. Like I said, I’m more focused on my goals than anything else at the moment.

And how am I doing with my goals? Math goals are tough to accomplish when I’m this tired – I’m still pretty confident my thesis will be ready to go by the end of the month, but it’s been slackadaisacal yesterday and today. Workout goals are going alright – I’ve only got in two workouts this week – probably get in 4 by Saturday – but I’m dieting well, and I think that’s ultimately more important for weight loss. If I can get in a minimum of 4 workouts a week, I think that’ll be ok for now. As long as I stick to my diet, I’ll hit my bodyfat %-age target by the end of the month. (I weighed in at 14.9% bodyfat the other day, so it’s all about sticking to the diet, and doing an occasional workout.)

What else – I haven’t had any new dates – things seemed to have slowed down on Tinder. I suppose if I fail that goal, I will have to start approaching women on the street. It’s a much better way to get dates, as the onus is all on me – but it’s nerve wracking, as I haven’t dealt very well with rejection so far. I suppose that’s just one skill I will need to learn – but we’ll see how things go by the end of the month.

Saving money – I haven’t been paid yet, but I don’t think that’ll be a problem. I regularly save 10% of my paycheques, and I live pretty darn frugally to begin with, so I doubt that’ll be an issue. Finally, I’m 25% of the way towards achieving my fame goal – went to amateur night last night, and I’ll go again next week. I think by the end of this month, I’ll be encouraged to start trying out my own material on stage. Some of the comics last night were pretty terrible – so it assuages some of my fears about me getting up there. But we shall see…

Anyhoo, I plan on seeing J3 again – not only for the sex, but she’s also really fun to hang out with. Not to mention, going out with someone will help me deal with my anxiety, simply by confronting it head on. Plus, she’s a very pretty redhead…and I’m a sucker for redheads.

April 9, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A ramble about monthly goals, getting stuff done right away

I drove by her house today… sigh.

Meh – I was running an errand and passed by J2’s house on my way home. Had a twinge of regret, etc… but it went away pretty quick when I focused on my goals. I’m feeling much better and that I’ve moved on and stuff… but every so often now I’ll still feel regret about how things went down. But nevertheless, I’m moving forward, dealing with my issues, and working on my goals. Time will heal all wounds – and as long as I stick to my plan, I’ll eventually make that deep, emotional connection with someone that I desire.

But until then… let’s keep working on my goals.

And so how are we doing today? Today is a rushed day, because I TA a class tonight, so I’m on campus from about 5:00 to 8:00. But then I’ve got an 8:30 class to TA tomorrow, so I have to go right to bed when I get home. Sorta a bummer. But it’s the last evening class until I teach in May – more importantly, it’s the last 8:30 class tomorrow – and then it’s Tues/Thurs evenings from May until August.

I’m looking forward to teaching my class this summer. It’s a 1st year calculus course for Engineers – so I’m pretty stoked about that. The fact that they’re engineers means I can be a real hardass about the math, which is the way I like it. But that’s the way it should be – I don’t want bridges being built by people who can’t do basic calculus.

What else? Well, I’ve figured out my goals for the month of April, and they are as follows:

  • Health: Have 15.5% bodyfat by April 30th
  • Love: To have gone on 5 dates by April 30th
  • Math: To have 100 pages of the thesis done by April 30th
  • Fortune: To have saved $250 by April 30th
  • Fame: To have gone to amateur night at Yuk Yuk’s 4 times.

I think all those are pretty reasonable goals. The ones I’m most focused on are Health and Math. Health, because I would really like to get better diet habits. My workout habits are generally pretty strong – I get in between 3-5 workouts a week. In fact, for the month of March, I got in 18 workouts – that’s almost 60%, so 3 out of every 5 days. Pretty good. But I’d be doing a lot better if I could get my diet straightened out. I’ve lost a little weight and fat since the beginning of the year, but now I want to step it up.

And the thesis – well, I want to get that done as soon as possible, because I would very much like to be called Dr. Sarcasticus, and then I could get a professorship or post-doc somewhere. Not to mention I wouldn’t have to TA any more classes. (I’d be teaching them, but whatevs…) The key for the thesis is short, daily, steady progress. So I reckon that if I can write 4 pages a day, I’ll be well in line to be done by the end of the month. Better still, once I’ve written my 4 pages for the day, I can relax.

Because the thing about a thesis (or any paper, really) is that it’s a chore. All the exciting research has been done, and now it’s about writing it up in explicit, technical detail. This is a drag. So what I’m excited to do, is to get up every morning and get it done.

That’s the thing about goals – if you’ve got a goal to achieve, you’re going to have to do the work. Often, the work will be tedious, or not as fun as other things you could be doing. That’s why I like doing it first – get it done! Get it out of the way immediately! Then the rest of the day is mine.

That’s one reason why I like exercising in the morning. Although I feel great after every workout, it’s still tough work. So if I can get up and get my workout out of the way immediately, I feel a lot better about myself, and I’ll carry those good feelings with me for the rest of the day.

Anyhoo, that’s a tight 15. Speaking of workouts, I’m off to do mine! Happy April schmools!!

April 1, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A ramble about monthly goals and mini-goals. Goals goals goals!

Man, wordpress keeps changing their layout – pick one and stick with it a’eady!

Anyhoo, feeling much better and more energetic today. I think my going to bed early and getting close to 10 hours sleep helped.

(Aside: Ugh – maybe it’s my web browser. I’m using “Opera” and so maybe there’s issues there. I hope not, or this post is gonna turn into a rant about how much I hate this layout.)

Anyhoo… I was able to create some monthly goals this morning, which leaves me feeling better about myself as well. I’ve had goals I want to achieve for awhile, and I’ve been working towards them, but lately I’ve felt like I’ve been caught up in the day-to-day monotony, and not focusing on the big picture. With my monthly goals, I’ve got a target to shoot for at the end of the month – and I’m hoping this will keep me more focused and more disciplined.

The way I’ve structured my goals, is that I have my ultimate goals that I’m shooting for, and then for each pillar (Health, Love, Math, Fortune, Fame) I’ve got a plan on how to achieve each ultimate goal. Then, I’ve broken down the plan into a series of mini-goals, and so now I’ve got a target to hit for each month to help me achieve my next mini-goal.

Wanna hear my monthly targets and mini-goals? Of course you do!

For health, my next mini-goal is to have a body fat percentage <=12% by November 5th, 2015. So my monthly goal is to cut my body fat %-age by 0.5% every month. The plan is to achieve that through diet, exercise and sleep.

For Love, my next mini-goal is to develop an abundance mentality when it comes to women, by November 5th, 2015. So my monthly goal is to go out with 5 new women every month. The plan is to basically accomplish this through Tinder, but then practice NoFap (to increase my sexual energy) and 15 minutes of daily mediation (to reduce anxiety and develop patience.)

For math, my next mini-goal is to get my PhD by Sep 1, 2015. In order to do this, I need my thesis written in good by June 1st (June 15th at about the latest.) Hence, my plan is to write 4 pages of thesis everyday.

For fortune, my next mini-goal is to earn over $100,000 a month, by November 5th, 2025. Plenty of time for this one, my plan right now is to save $250-500 a month until I get my PhD and a salaried position somewhere.

For fame, my next mini-goal is to perform comedy in front of 1000 people, by November 5th, 2020. So my monthly plan is to go to amateur night at Yuk Yuk’s every night, and work for 30 minutes everyday to create content for my comedy.

Now that I think about it, some of my far-off goals need to be broken down a bit more. Especially fame and fortune. Certainly, for health, I’ve got my plan broken down pretty well. Love, it’s a bit more nebulous, but (especially due to my work and living arrangements), I think just going on lots of dates for now is probably fine. Math is also pretty straight forward. I would say Fame and Fortune could use a lot more breaking down into finer details.

That’s the thing about goals – and one reason why I like writing about my goals every day. By taking the time to write out my plan, I can see where it’s weak and where things need to be fleshed out. If I hadn’t have taken the time to do that, I never would’ve found it out. (Or it would’ve taken me longer to find out.)

Anyhoo – the thing about the monthly goals is that I think I’ll be better able to relax at the end of the evening. Lately, I’ve been feeling guilty whenever I wasn’t working on my thesis. But now that I’ve got a plan, I can feel good about myself at the end of the day once I’ve accomplished all my goals. Further, I can now enjoy my relaxation guilt free. Huzzah!

Of course, some of that guilt may be artificial anxiety, but one thing at a time.

March 31, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A ramble about anxiety and health goals

Ugh – I know I said I was going to write about goals today, but we’ll see how that goes. For some reason, I’m shaking with anxiety this morning. Dunno why – maybe I’m slightly stressed about something, and as a result of my elevated cortisol levels, my body is reacting poorly. It’s been a tough morning – a knot in my stomach, feeling jagged and tough to concentrate. I think I’ll see the doc about something for anxiety, because this ain’t a good feeling.

Well, I’m sure I’ll feel a bit better after I exercise. But that’s not a great long term solution – unless I start working out in the morning, which I suppose I could start doing. There’s always smoking a joint – but that’s not great for productivity. (I assume that’s what I’ll be doing later.)

Gotta write about something – gotta push through this feeling until it’s gone. What’s good? Well, I’m getting much better at piano. I’m currently working on perfecting the easy version of The Entertainer by Scott Joplin. It’s starting to sound good – and I think I’ll have it down pat within a week or so.

What else? The Sens are doing well. They’re 1 point back from a wildcard position with 2 games in hand on Boston, the team currently occupying the final wildcard spot. If the Sens win tonight, they’ll be in a playoff position. So hooray for the local sports concern!

I suppose if I were to write about my health goals, I’d first focus on my ultimate goal, which is: to have my own kidney, to be in peak physical condition, to have healthy, blemish-free skin, to have shiny white teeth and fresh breath, to be able to fall asleep 5 minutes after I go to bed, and to be bursting with energy all day.

Now, if that’s my ultimate goal, in order to achieve it I would need to specify exactly what I mean by, say, “peak physical condition”. Because, when it comes to health goals, it’s all about doing those little things, day in and day out, which result in a healthy lifestyle. For me, I suppose my focus should be my diet. I’ve been having a poor diet for the past couple weeks, so that’s what I’ll focus on. I’m doing well with workouts – very consistent, usually 4 or 5 per week. I think the first thing I want to accomplish for my health is to get super fit. That means something like 10-12% body fat (which may or may not be achievable, given my medical condition.) So that’s what I’ll focus on – losing weight. That’ll be my first mini-goal.

After that, which can only be achieved through a healthy diet and consistent exercise, then everything else should be easier to accomplish. I imagine I’ll be able to fall asleep quicker if I’m exercising everyday and eating a healthy diet – my skin should improve, my energy should sky-rocket. My teeth – well, I just have to keep brushing and flossing everyday like I do. I’ll see about getting them whitened – I feel that they’re a bit stained due to the fact that I drink black coffee. So I won’t really worry about those until I’ve achieved my weight loss goal.

Ultimately, I don’t really care about how much I weigh, what I care about is that my belly fat is all gone. (Again, this may or may not be achievable due to my medical condition.) But my focus for the next little while will be on maintaining a strict diet. I’m confident I’ll keep working out like I have been – but with a better diet, that weight will come flying off. (Well, not flying off, but it’ll inevitably come off due to science. Calorie out > calorie in; that’s all I care about.)

Anyhoo – I think I may also be a bit bummed due to lack of sunlight. Luckily, the weather is improving and good times are right around the corner. Tell that to my shaky body though, ’cause it don’t believe you.

March 23, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Waving a magic wand: my ultimate goals for the 5 pillars

Well, a bit of a bummer as my afternoon date cancelled on me. But I did manage to find a hook-up for tonight, so that’s a plus. One thing that I tend to forget is that dating is a process – a marathon, not a sprint. When my anxiety gets the better of me, I forget about that, and tend to go overboard with my texting and tinder. Consequently, I come off as needy and desperate. I’ll do much better once I learn to channel my sexual energy into my goals on a consistent basis.

Speaking of goals, I mentioned yesterday how I’d outline my goals and plans for my mini-goals. I think I’ll do that now. I’ve got the 5 pillars: Health, Love, Math, Fortune and Fame.

When it comes to goals, I must be purely selfish. I have to pick goals that *I* want to achieve, and not goals that other people want me to achieve. This is relatively easy for me to do, since I’ve had practice – but if you’re young and trying to live up to your parents ideals, then that’ll result in an unhappy life. I think the mindset should be, “Even if no one else knew I had achieved these goals, what goals would I want to achieve?” That is, what are the goals I want to achieve, no matter what anyone else might say.

The other thing about setting goals, is that you don’t worry about the “How to.” Just yet. I think too many people have a goal, but then immediately shout it down in their own mind. i.e., Someone will say, “I wish I owned the Dallas Cowboys.” but then immediately after thinking of that goal, they’ll say, “Ah, that’ll never happen.” Or something negative like that.

So what I’m going to do is called the “magic wand” technique. I’m going to pretend I have a magic wand, and when I wave it, whatever I want to come true will happen. In this fashion, I won’t get bogged down with the “how to’s” of attaining my goals. I’ll just lay out what I want in life. Later on I’ll figure out how to get it.

So, Health. If I could wave a magic wand and achieve my ideal Health goals, what would that look like?

Well, for starters, I had a kidney transplant when I was a kid, and that’s a major challenge in my life. So the first thing I would wish for would be my own genetic kidney. After that, I would want to be in peak physical condition, I would want clear and healthy skin, shiny white teeth with fresh, minty breath, I want to be able to fall asleep 5 minutes after I go to bed, and I want to wake up everyday with a positive attitude and bursting with energy.

Now, this is a good start – when it comes time to writing down my mini-goals, I would need to get more specific. But this gives me a good idea of what I want my perfect Health life to look like.

Next up, if I could wave a magic wand, what would my perfect Love life look like?

Well, I would definitely want to have a deep, emotional and physical connection with a young, beautiful, virgin girl, who’s dedicated to old fashioned values, motherhood and starting a family.

Funny, I didn’t know where that would end up as I was typing – I’m sort of shocked that I would want a woman who wanted to start a family. For a long time, I was convinced I would just be single for the rest of my life and that would be that. But, as I’ve learned, after ignoring my needs for so long, and dealing with these issues, I’m starting to learn what I truly want in life. And I think I can honestly say that, yes, I would like to be married and start a family.

Well, I ‘unno. It’s shocking for me to write that. Maybe it’s just because I’m in such a good mood today. Who knows? But, for now, that’ll be my ultimate Love goal.

Next up, Math. Easy peasy. I want to solve the twin prime conjecture and the Riemann hypothesis. I want to write the standard, undergraduate texts for algebra and calculus, and I want to be remembered as one of the greatest mathematicians of the 21st century.

The math goals will be tough. But luckily, I am developing good math habits so that everyday, I do a little bit more Math. In 30 years or so, I might be able to accomplish these.

Penultimately, Wealth. I want to own a 100 acre plot of arable land on which I can build my dream house. I want to have over $10,000,000 in the bank and earn over $100,000 a month by being my own boss and working from home.

Finally, Fame. I would love to be famous for being smart and funny. I think I could be a musician – I think I could earn a living doing stand-up comedy, and I would like to be world renowned as an intellectual and author. My fame goals are what I want to work on in my spare time.

So that’s a rough outline of my ultimate goals in each pillar. That’s the funnest part of goals, thinking about what you want. Now comes the tough part – writing out more specific goals, and then creating mini-goals that I must accomplish in order to achieve my ultimate goal. The final step is writing out a plan for the first mini-goal. And then that’s what I’ll do in the upcoming blog posts.

But that’s been about 15 minutes. Have an awesome Saturday!

March 21, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A ramble about other goals for a change.

Well, I’m a bit sleepy today, so this might be even more of a disjointed ramble than usual.

Anyhoo – how am I doing? I mean, I’m ok. I’m trying to focus on finding the answers within. But it’s tough. I have an emotional need I’ve ignored for so long, it does feel a little like I’m desperately trying to fill it. Instead, I will try and focus on me and what I have to do to get where I need to be.

So, where do I want to go? What other goals do I want to accomplish?

For starters, I want to be in peak physical condition. So far this year I’ve been really good about my workouts. Right now I’m trying to focus on working on Monday through Friday. So far so good. I do my lifts MWF and cardio T/Th. Cardio days are pretty boring – especially since I have knee issues, so I can’t do HIIT on the treadmill at home. Instead, I just do steady state stuff to shed some calories, and then work core for 10-15 minutes. The problem with trying to attain peak fitness is that I could always be doing something more. I’m thinking of switching up my lifting routine to burn more calories. Currently, on lifting days, I do 10 sets of lifts. Instead, I think I’m going to switch to lifting Monday – Friday, doing less lifts, and more cardio at the end. Meh, we’ll see. My diet is currently staying under a 2000 calorie ceiling. It’s done me well so far this year, but I think that if I want to get abs, I’ll need to fine tune my diet a little more.

The main thing, for physical fitness, is to be consistent. If I stick to a 2000 calorie ceiling, and workout everyday, then over time I will lose weight, get stronger and feel great. Again, I need to develop patience and live in the moment. Focus on getting in a good workout and a good diet day, everyday. Then in 3-6 months, take a look at where I am.

That’s one major goal. The other major goal I’m working on is getting my PhD thesis written. I’m currently doing my PhD in math, and all I have left to do is write my thesis. Recently, I proved a problem I needed for my thesis, so all I have left to do in terms of research is prove another little thing. But if I don’t prove that, I’ll still have quite a lot of material for my thesis. I’ve haphazardly written up some stuff, and my goal is to get it all written up in rough by May 1st. Then by June 1st, I should have the thing written in good, and I can defend my thesis by the end of the summer. Then I’ll insist that everyone call me doctor!

What else? Well, there’s the dating goal – which is to meet someone special with whom I can make a deep, long-lasting, emotional and physical connection. However, paradoxically, I can’t attain this goal by focusing on this goal. As I (sorta) discussed yesterday, to get the kind of girl I want, I need to be the type of man to attract such a girl. That means being an emotional rock, being a leader, and being the best man I can be. I’d say I’m well on my way. I’m ambitious, I’m goal oriented, I know my issues and I’m working through them. So if I’m to achieve my dating goal, I need to really focus on myself. Sure, I’ll go on dates and practice being non-needy and fun to be around. But the important thing to achieve this goal is to keep improving myself. Luckily, I’m committed to self-improvement and goals, so the only thing needed to attain this goal is time. Again, always – I need to develop patience.

What else? I have some fortune goals – but they will follow once I’m done my PhD and can focus on my career.

I have some fame goals – and I’m steadily working at them. I’m practicing my piano everyday – in a couple years, I’ll be really good. Like, ready to join a band (or be a singer/songwriter-type) good. I write everyday – I would eventually like to write a novel. Once I’m done with the PhD, I anticipate a lot more free time on my hands. In addition, I would like to try my hand at stand-up comedy. Currently, one of my fears is that I’ll get on stage, see my slutty ex, and have a meltdown and puke on stage. Ultimately, I will have to confront these fears. And that means writing down some funny thoughts, and getting up there on amateur night for 5 minutes and giving it a shot. I was a pretty damn good MC for my buddy and brother’s wedding, so I’m confident I can make others laugh. But that nagging fear remains.

Ultimately, if I’m to grow as a person, I will have to confront my fear. I know I will, and I will be a stronger person when I do. But in the meantime, I’ve got this rather massive thesis to write. Call me doctor… soon!

March 12, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Start Your New Years Resolutions Today!

So I signed up for a free 2-hour personal training session at Goodlife, and it’s happening this morning at 9:30. I’m sort of excited and sort of nervous – nervous, because we’re going to do a body-fat measurement, and I know I’m going to get slammed. But excited, because I’ll have a pro looking over my lifts and giving me various tips. I’d be open to a once-a-week personal training session to keep me motivated and on track, but we’ll see how much it costs.

Anyhoo, we’re nearing the end of November, which means December is right around the corner, which means that soon, come January, the gym will be packed with the “New Years Resolutioners” – who will show up for two weeks in January and then we’ll never seen 95% of them again. So this leads me to the following idea, which i’m going to yell in a big bold font:


Seriously, don’t bother waiting until January 1st to start that diet or join the gym or quit your job. Start now. If you absolutely must wait for an arbitrary 1st of the month date, start on December 1st.

By starting now, you’ll get an extra jump on all those people who make New Years Resolutions on the 1st of January and never follow through. If you really want to change something about yourself, the best time to start was 10 years ago – the next best time to start is now.

Don’t be afraid to start a diet with the impending holidays. That’s an excuse – if you’re on a diet, there will always be temptations. It’ll be someone’s birthday at work, or someone will bring donuts to the meeting, or it’ll be dinner out with friends. There will never be a time when there wont be temptations. Don’t use the holidays as an excuse – make a plan and stick to it. You may have to pass up on Aunt Bertha’s famous Brooklyn Blackout Cake, but before you know it, it’ll be swimsuit season – and you know who looks terrible in a bikini, fat Aunt Bertha.

When it comes to New Years Resolutions, I recommend making changes in the following areas, in the following order: Health, Love, Knowledge and Fortune. (I used to have Fame in there, but then I decided that, as an introvert, I don’t really care to do all the shameless self-promotion that comes with fame. I decided to let my work speak for itself and let the chips fall where they may.)

Health is obviously the most important. We can’t enjoy the spoils of life if we’re in poor health. Any good New Years Resolution begins with diet and exercise. 

The Love category consists of family and friends. We all want to enjoy life with our family, friends and we want to share it all with someone we love. If you’re single, then make a resolution to join a dating site, or join a singles club. Ignore naysayers who say the only way to meet people is through friends. What fucking hogwash! The internet is the greatest communication tool the world has ever seen – leverage this to meet whom you want to meet. And if you’re already in a relationship, then use the Dale Carnegie tips to improve your relationship.

Knowledge – or work – honestly, I think most people work because they have to, not because they enjoy the work. I’d recommend reading Tim Ferris and/or Think And Grow Rich and quit your shitty job. I remember with glee how I quit the job I hated so I could go back to school and do what I love. However, if you’re working at a job you enjoy, there’s probably stuff you can be doing that would make that job even better, or make advancement at that job faster. Figure out what it is and do it.

Finally, Fortune. We’d all love to be rich, but we all spend loads of time everyday surfing the internet or watching tv, wondering why we’re not rich. Use your free time to do something productive. Create something of value and sell it! Quit your shitty job and start a company doing what you love. Life is too damn short to spend it watching other people live exciting lives. The internet is also the greatest money making machine the world has ever known. Find your niche and leverage it for all you can.

Think about those New Years Resolutions and get a head start on them! You’ll be glad you did!

November 20, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Too much McDonalds – A Ramble about how I should get in shape

Welp, back to teaching today. I gave the students a bunch of tips and tricks they’ll need for math. One guy I had today dropped the class after 20 minutes of writing his makeup test. Sheesh. I guess math is just too intimidating for some people. Also that second test was a killer.

Anyhoo, my belly is full of burgers from McDonalds and so once again I’m left wondering why I would order so many burgers just to get an upset stomach. I’m still in ‘fat guy’ mode of thinking about food – best dollar per calorie value. I’ve got to think instead like a skinny person – I’ll just eat enough to feel satiated and not stuffed – and hang the cost! Well, this is what I’ll do then.

What would be an ideal caloric day for me

BKFST: Boost – 240kcal

Veggie/Protein/Fiber shake – 400kcal

Ramen noodles – 400kcal

Chicken and rice – 400kcal

Junk – 500kcal

That gives me 1920kcal for the day, lots of carbs, not much over 75g of protein, and then I can chow down on junk for up to 500kcal. I suppose this would be a good diet to follow… but starting Monday of course. 

It’s tough coming back from vacation and getting into the swing of things. I’ve only gone to the gym once this week – so I’m going to try and go tomorrow and Saturday, so I can get in my 3 workouts of the week.

I think what’s eventually going to happen is I’ll build up a grubsteak while living at my parents’ house, then after I get my PhD, I’ll get a job somewhere making some money and I can move forward with my plan.

Until then, I’ve got to get into a routine for the rest of the summer. Gym MWF between 2:00-3:00pm or after 8:00pm if there’s no car during the day. Of course, on Friday, the gym closes at 10:00 so I could get there a little earlier than 8:00.

Ideally, I’d go Monday through Saturday – doing the main lifts on MWF and then abs and arms and cadio on Tues/Thurs/Sun. However, until the glutes/upper hams aren’t strained so much, three times a week is sufficient. Also I should make sure to do the 30 min cardio beforehand, not after.

When it comes to goals, health is the first thing I want to have handled. I’m currently around 160lbs, but think I could stand to weight around 145lbs. Of course, to be lean I have to eat lean, and that starts by not eating 4 McDoubles with bacon for dinner…. Ugh.

July 4, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment