Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A ramble brought on by lack of release

I think implementing a new exercise plan, maybe I should’ve allowed for a rest day today. I’ve done two strenuous workouts in a row, and I’ve got another one coming up today. I’m feeling sorta tired for some reason – maybe the wake and bake didn’t help. (But how often do I get to W&B?) Anyhoo, the thing about the gym is, once I get started, then I’ll start enjoying it. But the big thing is getting there and starting. My whole body is like, “Nooooo! No workout, senor!” (My body is Spanish, apparently.) But I’ll get on that treadmill for my warmup and it’ll be all systems go. Plus, best part about working out in the afternoon is that it basically signals the end of my day. I can relax once I’m done my workout. (Well, I do have class tonight, but they’re writing a test, so it’ll be a good hour of internet surfing for me!)

However, we shall see. I am feeling somewhat tired, so I might have a little nap once I break away to do my reading right after this. I do my reading on my bed, and I think it might happen that’ll just fall right asleep. I suppose I should either do my reading at my desk, or just go straight to working out and do my reading later. But that’s what I’ve done for the past two days – do my workout before my reading – and as such, I’ve been too tired (or lazy) to read at night. (But not tired enough to fall right asleep, go figure. Lousy brain.)

Anyhoo – what else? Not much in the dating world to report. I’ve got a date Saturday afternoon – feeling pretty good about internalizing the idea that dating is a process, and I don’t need to be concerned about achieving my goal as soon as possible. This morning, I did some good work on my thesis – and I wasn’t distracted by dating concerns or suffering from a lack of focus. It’s been awhile since I’ve done good work like that, so I’m happy with my progress with my issues so far.

In the meantime though, as part of my self-discipline regimen, I’ve eliminated watching porn and masturbating regularly. As a result, I’m so easily distracted when I’m at school by any pretty girl walking by. I know that when I go to the gym in a bit, it’ll feel like I’ve been shot out of a cannon. Pretty crazy how much energy and vitality I can store up by not spanking it for a few days.

But the problem is that now it’s like I’m 13 again – I’ve got sex on the brain. When I’m focused in on work, then it’s pretty easy to work well and stay focused because I’ve got that energy driving me. But in my leisure time, or when I take a break – all I’m thinking about is sex. I’m sending out messages to some girls who may want to hook-up this weekend – we’ll see what happens. I’ve had many enjoyable one-night-stands in the past, and many regretful ones. So the key to a good hook-up, I think – is being honest about what’s going to happen, not promising anything to the other person, and making sure you get enough recent pictures so that you’re not surprised at who you’re meeting.

The other thing about not watching porn – is that I’ve started noticing how sexualized everything is. Ads on tv, pop-up ads, print ads – everything that’s successful at selling something will usually feature a hot, half-naked girl. Not that I’m complaining. But when there’s no release I can turn to, it’s a bit frustrating.

What else? I guess the biggest challenge I’m having right now is with my diet. It’s so easy to overeat – especially after my monster workouts. I added 20 mins of cardio at the end in order to burn more calories – but it’s a little fruitless if I’m just going to eat the results of my work. I think my big problem is that I’ve found that bread and butter is delicious, and goes with every meal. If I could cut out that one thing, I’d probably be doing a lot better.

Alas, goals are a lifelong process. And I’ll always keep trying, everyday, to be a little bit better than the day before.

Welp, that’s a cool 15. Time to do some goddamn deadlifts!


March 18, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Super Sunday: A ramble about discipline and stuff about me and junk

It’s super Sunday! Although the Jesusians will argue that every Sunday is super Sunday with Jesus – but we all know that’s not true. It’s just a Sunday filled with guilt and itchy church pants.

Anyhoo – big game today! Broncos play the Seahawks! Like an expectant mother, I’m just hoping for a happy, healthy game. 

On the one hand, I’m sorta rooting for the Broncos. I like Peyton Manning, he’s been on a tear all year, and I’d like to see him win a couple more Lombardi trophies before he retires. On the other hand, I like the Seahawks – I like Russell Wilson and Marshawn Lynch, I like a good defensive team. Both Sidney Rice & Percy Harvin (who are injured) used to play for the Vikes. 

Regardless, let’s just hope for a game full of razzle dazzle and non-stop action! (And no sandbagging the game with “electrical failures”.)

What else – welp, I had a setback with my health last Monday, as I had to go to the hospital at night with abdominal pain. It was pretty severe – enough to get a morphine shot. But then the pain went away, so I went home. I got a follow-up ultrasound this Friday and I’ve been sorta discombobulated since then. Not to mention my prof wanted me to give a talk last Friday (two days ago) but then canceled the talk the night before. Hectic.

Anyhoo, looking forward to a good game tonight, then back on track tomorrow with goals and exercise. I can’t go back to my trainer at the gym until I get the all clear from my doctor on Friday – so I’ll do 30 minutes on the treadmill and some bodyweight exercises.

My whole sorta ‘deal’ now is to be practicing self-discipline everyday as much as I can. I have 5 self-disciplines I want to practice everyday.

  1. Get up self-discipline: Get up as soon as my alarm goes off. No hitting snooze or sleeping in. My bed is so unbelievably comfy, and I’d rather laze around for 2 or 3 hours. But the key to self-discipline is doing something you’d rather not do, so if I can start my day like that, all the better.
  2. Goals self-discipline: Develop the self-discipline to do all of my goals on my ToDo list before I surf the net, play video games, etc…
  3. Grooming self-discipline: I work mostly from home, and this can lead to getting lazy. So I want to make sure that everyday I have my shower, floss/brush/mouthwash my teeth, and wear proper clothes (no sweatpants) while I’m working.
  4. Exercise self-discipline: Do a baseline workout everyday – this means 30 minutes on the treadmill, 3 sets of pushups, bodyweight squats and deadlifts. This workout should be done anytime I’m not going to Goodlife to see my trainer. Obviously this week I’ll be taking it easy, but I think 30 minutes of walking and some basic movements shouldn’t kill me.
  5. Journal self-discipline: In order to stay motivated and keep track of my thoughts, I want to be writing in my journal everday.

So those are the major self-disciplines I’ll be working on. The best thing about self-discipline is that the more you practice it, the easier it gets. And the more self-discipline you can develop, the more self-esteem and self-confidence you develop as well. Only good things can come from working on self-discipline, so that’ll be my focus for the next little while.

But what’s this, fierce and passionate reader? You don’t care what’s going on in my life? That’s not why you’re reading my personal blog? Well why don’t I wrap up with some TV shenanigans.

I’ve been watching Community for the past couple of days. It’s pretty good. The writing is very clever, and it’s often meta and self-aware. But it suffers from predictable sit-comness, in that every handsome male gets feelings for every pretty female. Not to mention all the characters are rapidly becoming caricatures of themselves. (I think that trope is called Flanderization.) But there’s plenty of mental candy for the keen-eyed viewer, as many of the jokes are callbacks to previous episodes and there’s lots of Easter Eggs and such. Overall I’d say it’s a B+ – it’d get an A if they stopped shoe-horning relationship drama into every episode. But that’s my personal preference

February 2, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Don’t surf the internet until all your goals are done, a ramble about self-discipline.

Well there’s been quite the snowstorm here in Ottawa. Something like 20cm of snow has fallen overnight. That means I’ll have a bunch of shoveling to do if I want to get outta the driveway for my 8:30 gym appointment.

Now… uh, I don’t really have any good ideas of what to write about this morning. I would check the internet for ideas, but one of my goals is to not surf the net until all my goals are done. Hey! That’s something.

Let me tell you a habit I’m developing which has really skyrocketed my productivity. It is simply this: no internet, no tv and no games until I’ve completed all my goals. There’s a couple exceptions, I keep my e-mails open from 9 to 5 so I can answer work stuff in a timely manner. And it’s ok to check the weather before I go out. And I’m allowed to open wordpress in order to write this blog post.

But that’s it! No checking Google news, no reddit (reddit has been banned from my computer anyway), no online surfing, no nothing. And let me tell you, it has been an unbelievable boon to my productivity.

I sort of think I may have written about this already, but then I got busy with my special exam and got out of the habit. So now I’m getting back into the habit and already it’s paying huge dividends.

For example, yesterday I had a relatively easy day of goals, and I was done all my work by about 3:30pm. Now, once I was done I checked some of my favorite websites – but after I had read all of those, which took maybe 10 minutes tops – then I was bored again. I could’ve continued surfing the web, but instead, I went back to work. 

Really, once you stop surfing the web during the day, you realize how pointless it really is. Honestly, all those snarky websites and pictures of cats will still be there once you’re done your goals for the day. Better still, if you wait until you’ve finished your “To Do” list for the day to surf the web (or watch tv, or play video games), you’ll be able to enjoy them all the more, because now you’re doing it without any chores hanging over your head. 

It’s the same great feeling you get if you’re following a diet and you’ve been faced with a difficult day. Say you’re on a diet and you can’t have treats – and then someone brings in donuts for the morning meeting, and despite REALLY wanting one, you go without – but then it’s Sally’s birthday, and so there’s a break in the afternoon for some cake, and despite REALLY wanting a slice of cake, you go without – then finally, at home, there’s a cupboard full of cookies calling to you, and despite REALLY, REALLY!!! wanting a couple cookies, you go without. As you’re falling asleep, an overwhelming sense of accomplishment will wash over you – because despite the many, many temptations during the day, you’ve managed to stick to your diet. One might call this feeling the “goodness of self-discipline”, that is, foregoing what you want in the short term in order to achieve your long term goals.

After all, that’s all that self-discipline is. Whether we want to climb Mount Everest or win the Penske account or lose 20lbs. In order to achieve all these goals, we have to give up luxuries in the short term to achieve what we want in the long term. If you really want to climb Mount Everest, then you can’t be loafing it up the side of the mountain, playing Angry Birds on your phone. No, you’ve got to be focused, and you’ve got to practice your climbing every day until you’re ready to tackle the big peak. If you want to close the Penske account, you can’t be wasting your time surfing reddit and arguing with nerds on the internet. No, you’ve got to figure out what the hell Penske needs and then make sure your company can come through with the deliverables. And if you want to lose 20lbs, you can’t be eating junk food and drinking soda while relaxing on the couch. No! You’ve got to stick to a diet, every day, and get outside and exercise!

We can’t achieve any goal without self-discipline. Cultivating self-discipline is hard at first, but the more you practice, the easier it gets, and the more self-discipline you gain in the long run.

November 27, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sleepy ramble and kinect boxing

Well, it’s going to be a hell of a ramble today.

I tried to go to bed on time last night, but I got lost in some math and stayed up late. The problem with staying up late is that I rarely sleep in, so I spend the day being all tired. I was tempted to nap today, but I figured I’d just suck it up and go to bed early. That way I wont be tired tomorrow.

When you’re tired, you realize that sleep is like… important, and stuff. But when it’s late at night, it’s tough to shut off the internet. Especially if I’m on reddit. (Oh, just one more page!) The internet – man, it’s the greatest medium of information distribution in the history of mankind and the main thing I use it for is wasting time. 

I do have legit uses for the interent, of course, as does everyone. My bank is primarily accessed online – my University library has online journal access – not to mention wikipedia comes in handy whenever I need to know anything about anything.

But the lure of reddit and time wasting is too great! I can almost easily piss away 4 or 5 hours surfing reddit, clicking on memes and pictures of cats doing stupid things. 

I have, for the past two weeks, been strictly sticking to the idea of, “No internet until all my goals are done.” This has made me fantastically productive – and kept me working steadily throughout the day. However, on days where I have to work 12-13 hours straight, at the end of the day I feel “cheated” out of my internet time, and don’t go to bed on time, instead choosing to spend the time on the internet.

It’s such a waste! But I’m not thinking that at the time. At the time, I’m thinking – “Well, if I go to bed in 30 minutes and fall asleep immediately, I’ll get 7 solid hours of sleep!” Of course, I don’t fall asleep immediately (as I suffer from onset insomnia) – and it can take up to 2 to 3 hours to fall asleep. Ridiculous!

Hopefully, I’ll learn from last nights mistake and go to bed early tonight. 

Meanwhile, I spent last night at a BBQ with some friends. At the end of the night, we all played some interactive games on the Kinect – which is the Xbox motion sensor dealie. We played a dancing game and a boxing game.

Now, having boxed before, I must say that I’m pretty outraged at the boxing game. The first round I played against my opponent, I came out in a boxing stance, trying to work methodically. Y’know, work the jab, throw a right when he drops his hands, go to the body if he’s protecting his face too much. But when it comes to Kinect boxing, that is the absolute wrong strategy to employ.

I played against the host once and was TKO’ed in 19 seconds. 19 seconds! I don’t think even Mike Tyson ever finished off an opponent in 19 seconds. Now, the boxing method used by the host was, “Throw as many punches as humanly possible. In fact, they don’t even have to be punches. Just make fists and flail them back and forth like you were working a speed bag.”

So the host threw about 300 punches in 19 seconds. As a former practitioner of the sweet science, I was outraged! Where’s the fatigue to the boxer? Why isn’t he wheezing? Why am I seeing these stars above my head?

Anyhoo, the boxing game ended up being a furious workout. When I played someone else, we both employed the hosts strategy of “frantic punching”. It was intense, and someone videotaped it for youtube. I’m sure that will come back to haunt me sometime soon…

August 11, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment