Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

A ramble about the magic drink

Whoo – it smells like farts in here.

So I’ve got a cold – which is a bummer. Not so much a runny nose, but sore throat – and kind of a lump in my throat. Swallowing is difficult. But never fear, because I’ve got the ultimate cure for a sore throat and it’s called a magic drink. Ready for the recipe?

  • One tablespoon of apple cider vinegar
  • One tablespoon of honey

Mix the ingredients in hot water and drink it. The honey soothes the throat, and apple cider vinegar is medicine for white people. Whenever I get sick, I spend a majority of my day drinking magic drinks. Honestly, I get better so much faster, it’s amazing.

Anyhoo – tonight’s my first calculus class. I’ve got some notes ready and we’ll see how it goes. It’s calculus for Engineers – so I’m assuming most of the students are good at math. Because Engineers need to be good at math. I’m a bit concerned that my first lecture will be a bit easy – but better to start off easy than hard, that’s what I say. The first week is a basic review anyway – so we’ll go over sets, the structure of numbers, the laws of algebra, and then onto functions. There’s about 40 kids in the class, so this is my first real big class. I’m excited, because I get to be the whole show – it should be fun.

But in the meantime, Tuesdays (and I’m assuming Thursday’s as well) are a bit hectic. I’ll get up around 9, do goals until about 10 – then do math until 2:00, then piano, reading and writing and it’s time to go to class. Which means that if I’m going to exercise, I’ll have to do it late at night. Which is both good and bad – it’s good, because that’s a great way to fall asleep. But bad, because I want to do nothing but veg out once I get home from school. I think, because I’ve got a cold, I’ll be skipping the exercise today. I imagine, in the future, I’ll do the opposite – do some exercise as soon as I get up, then piano and the rest of it, so that hopefully I’m done everything by about 2:00pm, and then I can do math for the rest of the day until it’s time for class.

The funny thing is, I feel really bad about skipping a workout. I’ve tried to instill the habit of daily exercise, and for the most part I have – so when I have to skip a scheduled workout, I feel terribly guilty. I suppose I shouldn’t, because I’m sick – but I do. I guess this goes back to the idea that I need to be content with what I can accomplish during the day – and have patience, because I don’t get fit overnight. After all, exercise is a thing I plan on doing for the rest of my life – so one day off wont kill me. Although, I may do some cardio when I get home, we’ll see…

In the meantime – I’ve been binge-watching House MD. Oh man, I forgot how much I love House’s snarkiness – makes me want to be all snarky myself. Really, it’s a detective show – the whole thing is a modern takeoff on Sherlock Holmes – and boy oh boy do I love detective shows. In another life, I think I would’ve made an awesome police detective – there’s nothing better than figuring things out. Of course, I’m a mathematician, so I suppose that follows.

Although, I will say this about House – for all his brilliance, he doesn’t handle rejection very well. This is what I’ve gleamed from the first season – maybe later on he gets a bit more emotionally mature – but when it comes to any sort of relationship, it’s like he’s a 13-year old needy teenager. I think later on in the series these types of things will become more nuanced, but as it happens, it’s pretty clumsy the way the show handles House and his relationships.

Anyhoo – summer has arrived. It’s about 20 degrees out, the sun is shining, and I’ve had my windows open for the past week. Bring on the nice weather man! A nice, lazy summer awaits!


May 5, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A self-indulgent lazy ramble

Self-discipline is all about doing what you know you should do, even when you don’t feel like it. Some might say especially when you don’t feel like it. And I’m feeling like I should be taking the rest of the day off… but I’m not. So away we go!

One thing I’m having trouble with when it comes to goals is focusing on my successes, and ignoring the negatives. For example, yesterday I completed about 90% of all the goals I set out to achieve – but I didn’t stick to my diet. Although I did a workout, did my math, did my piano, did my writing, etc… I was more annoyed at the fact that I went over my caloric ceiling. In truth, I still did a lot of good things yesterday, and I should be more proud of the things I did than annoyed at the few things I missed. Welp, something else to work on.

Anyhoo – what else is going on? Today was my last tutorial for this semester. I only have 2 more office hours on Tuesday and that’s it until May! It’s going to be awesome having (nearly) a whole month off to spend all day working on my thesis, and then exercising. It’ll be somewhat of a grind – but as long as I stick to my 4 pages a day, I’ll be doing alright.

Hmm… I guess not much else to report about goals. I’m happy with my monthly goals, and I’m following that path. Not much new to report.

But in other, TV related news – Game of Thrones is rapidly approaching! I’m super stoked for the new season. I’m all up to date on the books, so no worries about spoilers or anything like that. Though I did read that the show may act as spoiler to the book. Well, I would hope so – since there’s no book 6 out yet, and this season of GoT should follow the 2nd half of books 4 and 5.

Hrm… what else? I’m getting really proficient at the easy version of Scott Joplin’s “The Entertainer” on piano. So huzzah!

The Sens play tonight – we’re 3 points behind Boston with a game in hand, so some magic will have to happen in order for the Sens to make the playoffs. But the dream is still alive! It’d be pretty damn awesome if they made it in – I love watching playoff hockey. Because it’s the playoffs, every rush is fraught with excitement and peril – every goal is that much sweeter. However, if we do make it into the playoffs, it’s likely that we’d face the New York Rangers – who are doing pretty darn well this year, so maybe that ain’t the best. But whatever – I’ll take at least 4 games of playoff hockey, thankyouverymuch!

Urhm… Man – not much else going on. I’m feeling pretty good because school is over and it’s the weekend. I’m also somewhat sleepy, so I may have a nap! Ah, good ol’ blogging. Really tackling the tough issues!

The book I’m reading at the moment is called, “His Master’s Voice” by Stanislaw Lem. It’s pretty intriguing and it’s hard-core sci-fi. It’s written in the form of memoirs by a mathematician, who was called into work on decoding a strange message that was sent by some unknown intelligence. It’s really interesting – mostly because the message they found was written in a weird neutrino stream – and so far the book is all about what can we really know about the message when the people who sent it must have been such a more advanced civilization than ourselves. Currently, one of the scientists has just discovered how to make a super-weapon using part of the decrypted message, so the tension is starting to ramp up and we’ll see what happens next.

Anyhoo… Yeah. That’ll just about do it for today! Have a great Easter!

April 2, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

In search of quiet: a ramble

Welp, this may be another interrupted ramble today – as there’s a bunch of workers who are infesting my house today. There’s the painter (the one that likes to watch me take a shit), who’s using “Never Dry” paint, apparently, ’cause he’s still here, painting the same fucking window. Then there’s a carpet guy coming to put in carpet. I’m told it will only take a couple hours – so naturally, I expect it to either take the rest of today, or all of today and tomorrow.

The thing about me is, I don’t like noise. I like waking up in the peace of the morning, and then gradually get accustomed to the day. In the morning, when it’s quietest, is when I like to do my math. It’s very relaxing and stimulating to drink a fresh cup of coffee and do a bit of math. Then I’ll have a protein shake and go to the gym.

But when there’s workers around, I’m on “supervise” patrol. Which means that I have to laze around here all day in case the workers need anything. (What they could need, I’m sure they could get it themselves.) It’s an infuriating way to start the day – since I don’t get any warning, and I’m told basically to cancel whatever plans I had so I can be here for the workers. Now I’m sitting here, urgently wanting to shower, but I can’t, until the carpet guy shows up, does his thing and leaves.

Back when I lived in my own apartment, it was *the law* that the landlord had to give me 24 hours notice before he invaded my space. Living with your family, there’s no such law. Here, it’s a fucking free for all – it’s like I’m a heroin junkie, always chasing the next high. But instead of a high, all I’m seeking is a morning where people aren’t banging tools against the house. I’m chasing quiet, but quiet is fast and loud is slow.

Oh well – soon I will be emperor of Earth (stay tuned!) and then I’ll find peace and quiet. Namely, by executing everyone who dares disturb the cruel and malevolent ruler of Earth. My reign will be glorious, long-lasting, and bloody. Future historians will refer to this period as “The Time of Nightmares.” It’s going to be great!

Anyhoo – Tuesday is upon us again, so that means I’ve got a class to teach tonight. What this really means, is that I can’t get high during the day and do a bunch of math. Nope. I’ve got to stay sober and focused so I can teach my kids about polynomials.

Oh, what’s more – is that my brother and his girlfriend are moving back in this weekend. While this will undoubtedly result in much, much more noise. It does mean that I’ve got my favorite sidekick honey bunches back. What’s that? Gratuitous pictures of Mr. Honey Bunches? You got it!

Honey Bunches 007 Honey Bunches 006 Honey Bunches 005 Honey Bunches 004 Honey Bunches 003 Honey Bunches 002 Honey Bunches 001


May 20, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Game of Thrones pictureless and not so indepth roundup!

Oh man. I watched the most recent episode of Game of Thrones last night. And although I’m not going to do a full-fledged roundup, I’ll give a brief recap about the parts I remember. (No pics, unfortunately… Well, maybe one. We’ll see.)

So who did we see in the most recent episode?

Stannis and the Onion Knight sail into Braavos to meet with the Iron Bank. The Onion Knight makes an impassioned plea to Mycroft Holmes and gets some money. Then he goes and visits his pirate buddies and recruits them to Stannis’ side.

Danerys is in Mereen and her dragons are running wild. She’s trying to rule like a Queen, but we quickly see how tedious this is for her and how she’d rather be freeing slaves and kicking ass. Begrudgingly, she listens to the pleas of the people of Mereen. Excitement she wrote!

The big part of the episode is devoted to Tyrion’s trial. I don’t really remember this part from the book, even though I read book 3 and the trial totally happened in Book 3. But whatevs. A bunch of people testify against Tyrion – Cersei, of course; one of the asshole guards that Tywin appointed (name might be the Red Viper? dunno), and Varys – although there was a brief exchange at the end of Varys’ testimony between him and Tyrion which sort of hinted that Varys didn’t really want to testify but had no choice.

The big shocker came when Shae (AKA: The whore that Tyrion loves) walked into the court to make up faulty testimony against Tyrion. Naturally, this pisses off Tyrion, who gives a brief but brilliant speech about how everyone is an asshole but him and then demands trial by combat. 

Here, check it out: The guy that uploaded it has disabled embedding for some stupid reason, so follow the link. Seriously, it’s a pretty awesome speech.

So that’s what’s new in Game of Thrones news. Anything I missed? Oh – just before Tyrion’s big speech, Jaimie bargains for his life with Tywin, by promising to relinquish his position in the King’s Guard (something he’s loathe to do) and officially become the heir of Tywin Lannister. Jaimie tells this to Tyrion, but Shae lying is more than he can bear. 

This is why you don’t fall in love with whores, people. Why? Because they’re whores.

Anyhoo – it’s Tuesday today, which means I teach my class. I tell ya, the great culling has begun. It didn’t even take until the 1st test this time. Last year, when I taught the same class, I started with about 18 people, then after the 1st test that dropped down to about 12. However, this year, I started with about 21 students, and now after only 2 lectures, enrollment has dropped down to about 12 again. I wonder, am I a bad teacher? No, no, it’s the children who are wrong.


So that’s what I think about that. Hey, math isn’t for everyone, I get it. But jeez, at least wait until you totally shank that 1st test before dropping the class.

Regardless, I still get paid whether 1 kid shows up or 100. It makes no difference to me either way. However, I notice that the two hotties I had in my class dropped it. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so open and leering when I said I’d exchange grades for sex. Ah well, the last remaining girl (who is about a 6) has gained 2 points due to scarcity. Good for her.

Today we’re going to be going over the laws of exponents. That’ll take about two classes, and then the foundation will have been laid for a complete mathematical education. But judging from the bored faces staring back at me, I’m the only one that cares about such thing.

Oh well, payday is tomorrow.


May 13, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fun Friday – a 15 minute ramble

Well folks and falkers [sic], it’s Friday. So you know what the means!? I’m phonin’ ‘er in.

Man, am I ever sleepy. I consistently underestimate how important it is to get a good sleep. I stayed up late last night playing Civilization 5 (aside: wow, what a game!) and now I’m tired this morning. I would’ve gone to bed on time, but my trainer cancelled my gym appointment this morning, so I stayed up late. Consequently, no gym.

Ugh, I haven’t even had a shower today. I’ve been somewhat lazy – well, it feels that way, but I’ve done all my goals for the day. (Except shower and brush my teeth.) But I’ll do that whenevs. Nice lazy Friday.

What else? Taught my class again last night. Man, it’s like they don’t have a healthy obsession with theoretical mathematics. Stone silence throughout the class. Whatevs, I get paid either way. I’m not complaining for a 3 hour week.

But meanwhile, on my math paper I’m working on, I get down to my final answer, and it’s not at all what it’s supposed to be. Which means I made one or two tiny errors in my pages and pages of calculations. Which in turn means I need to do aaaaallll those calculations over again to figure out where I made my mistake. Not fun. 

Welp, I guess I’ll save that for the weekend. 

Crap – I also have a conference coming up which I’ll be talking at. I should probably start thinking about whipping together my 15 minute talk. Luckily, I always give fabulous talks, so I’m not worried at all.

NHL Playoffs continue. Boston tied up the series last night in overtime. The game had a final score of 1-0, so needless to say, the 3rd period was pretty hectic. Too bad, I was rooting for Montreal. I think it’d be neat to have a Canadian team win again.

What I can’t fathom is how come Eugene Melynk continues to cheap out on the Ottawa roster. If he could fork over the dough, we could have two first lines of: MacArthur – Turris – Ryan and Michalek – Spezza – Hemsky. With a healthy Ryan and Spezza, those two lines could friggin’ dominate. Throw in a hustle line of Greening – Smith – Neil/Condra and a rookie line of Hoffman/Pageau – Zibanejad – Stone and we’d have a monstrous forward group. 

Of course, the Sens have Karlsson on defense, so any one paired with him is gonna look awesome. I’d look at something like Methot – Karlsson / Cowen – Wiercioch / Phillips – Gryba/Ceci. Or maybe alternate Gryba and Wiercioch, I ‘unno. Wiercioch didn’t get much playing time this year, but he did well with the limited ice time he was given. Method – Gryba was also a great shut down pair. I think, sadly, one of Gryba or Wiercioch is going to get traded. Wiercioch is an excellent offensive defenseman, and Gryba is an excellent, bruising, 3rd pairing guy. We might see Cowen – Gryba / Phillips-Ceci. Just because we’ve got enough offense with Karlsson and Ceci. 

Actually, Ceci isn’t proven – but management is so big on the kid, that he’s probably a lock to make the team coming out of training camp. But then again, they sent down Zibby over DaCosta and Pageau at the beginning of the year, so who knows what this crazy team is gonna do.

Anyhoo, it’s still a long way until September training camp. Man, I already can’t wait for Senators hockey next year (AKA: the fall.) 

But, my writing time is almost up – the fam is going out to some lame fundraising thing tonight, and I am not. I plan on smoking a bunch of weed, playing Civ 5 and going to bed early. Wooo, what a wild Friday night!

May 9, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A ramble for stalkers.

Wicked Wednesdays!

Meh, I wish…

So… Coming into today’s post with nothing much to talk about and not a lot going on. So I’ll talk about me, that’ll be interesting! (to me…)

Well, what’s new? I’m currently working on a math paper, about stuff related to my Masters thesis. I think I’ve found a way to get a recursive formula for twisted convolution sums. I’ll have to calculate the product of a certain Lambert series with associated trigonometric term, express that as a sum of various power series, then deduce a power series equation with the original Lambert series product. Then I can substitute in an appropriate function and boom, recursive formula for twisted convolution sums. I’ll probably do that once I’m done my PhD. 

Of course, my prof wants me to do a bunch of papers for my PhD research, and judging by how long this one is taking, that’ll take all of the rest of the year. I should really try and get a couple papers published by the end of the summer, then I can finish up my PhD, get a postdoc somewhere, and spend all my days smoking weed and doing math.

My plan at the moment is to get an NSERC postdoc. They’ll give me $40,000 CDN to work with just about anyone I want. Naturally, I’ll just work with my current prof – who’s pretty hands off – so I can just spend most of my days smoking weed and doing math.

Man, that’ll be the life. I can see it now

Get up early, but have a nice leisurely morning – drink coffee, watch the sunrise, slowly wake up. Then go work out – back home for a shower and breakfast. Then I can run whatever errands I have for the day – leaving me done all my “outside” chores by noon at the latest, so I can load up a big fat bowl and take a huge hit, turn on “Dopesmoker” by sleep on continuous replay and do math until the sun goes down.

Then finish up at night with some Let’s Plays, writing and reading… and more weed, tv, video games… oh man, life would be sweet.

Of course, I’m a huge introvert – so the idea of spending all my time alone appeals to me. I love the notion of being like Desmond in Lost. (Not the pushing the button every 108 minutes.) Being on a deserted island, following a nice routine everyday, nothing but peace and quiet. No phones ringing… No kids yelling… Just, silence… and the heavy, frog-stomping sounds of “Dopesmoker.” Righteous.

Anyhoo, that’s the plan. For now, I’ve just got to keep plugging away at these papers.

Oh, I start teaching my class two weeks from yesterday. It’s the same class I taught last summer, so I don’t even need to make any other notes! Talk about easy street! I can only hope there’s a bunch more 20-year old chicks with bodacious racks in my class. From all the internet documentaries I’ve seen, their extra credit assignment will be sleeping with me.

What else – Oh yeah, I sort’ve figured out why I like the book, “I, Claudius” so much. It’s because it’s such a great setup! Claudius is lame, has a stutter, and is therefore assumed to be some kind of moron by his elders. (Well, all the elders and cousins that are dicks, anyway.) But this means Claudius can be in the room while Livia and Tiberius discuss their secret plans. In fact, this is stupid, as Claudius is shown to be particularly brilliant, especially at organizing thoughts and ideas. 

Right now in the book, Germanicus has just died (possibly been murdered) and Tiberius is trying to maintain his status as Emperor, while keeping the rest of Rome from rioting. All while trying not to get poisoned by Livia.

I think the next fiction book I’m going to read will be Book 4 of the Game of Thrones series. From the show, I know we’re midway through book 3 – but some stuff is being borrowed from book 4 and 5. I remember starting book 4 but stopping after 100 pages ’cause it was all about Cersei and who really cares? But now that I can associate names to faces from the show, I have a feeling Book 4 will be a lot more intruiging.

This has been another scintillating “all about me” ramble!

April 23, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment