Milk and Cigarettes

Rambles about stuff I like.

Diet ramble – recognizing my sticking points

Welp, I had a near perfect day yesterday. Did all my math, exercise, piano, writing, reading, etc…. I even worked straight up until 8:00pm like I wanted, without any distractions or nothing. However, the one setback I had was with my diet. GodDAMN is it hard to resist cravings. I’ll go fine until the evening, and then I’ll see a kitchen full of delicious goodies, and I’ll start with, “I’ll just have one rice krispie square.” And then BOOM – before you know it, I’m chowing down on all sorts of garbage and the diet day is ruined.

Welp, now that I’ve got that in mind, I will remain extra vigilant tonight. I’ll make sure that I eat something healthy when I get home from class, and then STOP EATING. It’s super-easy for me to overeat – I’m on prednisone which gives me an insatiable appetite. Thus, if I’m to develop self-discipline, I should start with my diet – and that means overcoming my biggest challenge and not snacking at night.

I’ll be honest, I’m pretty sick of working out everyday and having nothing to show for it. I’m just gonna have to suck it up, drink some more water, and go to bed hungry. If I can develop that habit, then pretty soon my body will reflect my decisions. I just have to endure the cravings.

One thing I could do is use social media. This is where my instagram and youtube subscriptions will come in handy. I think that, whenever I’m feeling like snacking, or my brain gets to a point where it says, “Fuck it – we can start the diet tomorrow!” That’s when I’ll start surfing instagram or checking out my youtube fitness subscriptions. It’s when I’m feeling these cravings that I need motivation. And so seeing all those lean, fit bodies will (hopefully) motivate me to stay on my diet, avoid pigging out on junk food, and staying the course.

That’s a big thing when it comes to goals – is determination. Never giving up. I should take that message to heart. Say, if I have a bad diet morning and go heavy on the calories – usually I take that as a sign that there’s no point in dieting for the rest of the day, and I’ll pig out. Instead, if I eat a little too much – I should not quit, and try and diet my best for the rest of the day.

I think I was in here yesterday complaining about the same things. Well, this time I mean it! Now that I’m aware of my snacking struggles in the evening, it will be a bit easier to deal with them – I know that right now, that’s my biggest sticking point for my diet, and so every night I’ll try and avoid snacking.

Yeah, I would say diet, exercise and thesis are my top 3 priorities at the moment. If I can exercise everyday, keep to a healthy diet the majority of the time, and do my thesis in the evening, then everything will work out fine.

That’s the other thing about goals – is that I have to have patience. Just one night of not eating everything in sight will not yield abs. I have to eat at a caloric deficit over a long, consistent period of time in order to get down to my target body fat percentage. Maybe it’ll be easier now that it’s the summer – and when it’s super hot out, I don’t really have an appetite. But nevertheless, I will work on developing patience, and never giving up.

Anyhoo – what else? Today’s a teaching day, so no smoking weed until after class. Lemme tell ya, when I get home I’m gonna have an epic sesh – got a brand new episode of American Dad to watch. I’m gonna clean out my bong, get some ice-cold water loaded up, and then enjoy a cool bowl of cannabis and relax for the rest of the evening. Ah, wonderful.

But in the meantime, I’ve got a couple hours to kill before class. Tuesday’s are the worst – I have to be on campus at 5:30 for my office hours. However, it’s super rare that anyone shows up for office hours, so I mainly use it to surf the internet. I ‘spose I could be doing something more productive – but meh, whaddya gonna do. It’s stressful enough talking for 90 minutes in front of kids who definitely don’t want to be there. I think teaching would be a lot better if I were teaching math to mathematicians, as they’d be at least interested in the material. These engineers, they all look up at me with bored, dead eyes and world-weary sighs.

Oh well – a job’s a job. And less than 10 hours of work a week isn’t bad at all.

May 26, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A ramble about anxiety and health goals

Ugh – I know I said I was going to write about goals today, but we’ll see how that goes. For some reason, I’m shaking with anxiety this morning. Dunno why – maybe I’m slightly stressed about something, and as a result of my elevated cortisol levels, my body is reacting poorly. It’s been a tough morning – a knot in my stomach, feeling jagged and tough to concentrate. I think I’ll see the doc about something for anxiety, because this ain’t a good feeling.

Well, I’m sure I’ll feel a bit better after I exercise. But that’s not a great long term solution – unless I start working out in the morning, which I suppose I could start doing. There’s always smoking a joint – but that’s not great for productivity. (I assume that’s what I’ll be doing later.)

Gotta write about something – gotta push through this feeling until it’s gone. What’s good? Well, I’m getting much better at piano. I’m currently working on perfecting the easy version of The Entertainer by Scott Joplin. It’s starting to sound good – and I think I’ll have it down pat within a week or so.

What else? The Sens are doing well. They’re 1 point back from a wildcard position with 2 games in hand on Boston, the team currently occupying the final wildcard spot. If the Sens win tonight, they’ll be in a playoff position. So hooray for the local sports concern!

I suppose if I were to write about my health goals, I’d first focus on my ultimate goal, which is: to have my own kidney, to be in peak physical condition, to have healthy, blemish-free skin, to have shiny white teeth and fresh breath, to be able to fall asleep 5 minutes after I go to bed, and to be bursting with energy all day.

Now, if that’s my ultimate goal, in order to achieve it I would need to specify exactly what I mean by, say, “peak physical condition”. Because, when it comes to health goals, it’s all about doing those little things, day in and day out, which result in a healthy lifestyle. For me, I suppose my focus should be my diet. I’ve been having a poor diet for the past couple weeks, so that’s what I’ll focus on. I’m doing well with workouts – very consistent, usually 4 or 5 per week. I think the first thing I want to accomplish for my health is to get super fit. That means something like 10-12% body fat (which may or may not be achievable, given my medical condition.) So that’s what I’ll focus on – losing weight. That’ll be my first mini-goal.

After that, which can only be achieved through a healthy diet and consistent exercise, then everything else should be easier to accomplish. I imagine I’ll be able to fall asleep quicker if I’m exercising everyday and eating a healthy diet – my skin should improve, my energy should sky-rocket. My teeth – well, I just have to keep brushing and flossing everyday like I do. I’ll see about getting them whitened – I feel that they’re a bit stained due to the fact that I drink black coffee. So I won’t really worry about those until I’ve achieved my weight loss goal.

Ultimately, I don’t really care about how much I weigh, what I care about is that my belly fat is all gone. (Again, this may or may not be achievable due to my medical condition.) But my focus for the next little while will be on maintaining a strict diet. I’m confident I’ll keep working out like I have been – but with a better diet, that weight will come flying off. (Well, not flying off, but it’ll inevitably come off due to science. Calorie out > calorie in; that’s all I care about.)

Anyhoo – I think I may also be a bit bummed due to lack of sunlight. Luckily, the weather is improving and good times are right around the corner. Tell that to my shaky body though, ’cause it don’t believe you.

March 23, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment